Dilyara Larina about the fullness, the reaction of men and the power of the female breast
beauty - the word that most often appears on the covers of magazines and the concept with which we subconsciously measure everything around. Yourself first. At the same time, a single and unchanging idea of beauty never existed - as our heroine Iris Apfel said, "in a society where there is one standard of beauty, something is wrong with culture." We talked with five people of completely different professions and looks, whose lifestyle or occupation is associated with a reflection on the beauty of the body, and also asked them to film for us in that degree of nakedness in which they feel comfortable. Our third heroine is Dilyara Larina, plus-size-model, founder of the agency of non-standard models Plus-Size Model Agency and author of the book In the Body of Nonstandard. She told us how men helped her find harmony with her body, why in stores you need to put mannequins with large-sized clothes and why it’s time for everyone to relax.
Your biography on the site begins with how you switched to plus-size-models from ordinary ones. are you especially full?
I was inclined to be fat all my life. Once I began to drastically lose weight for my boyfriend - he constantly spread rot to me, that I was full, and I wanted to show him that I could be different. When we finally broke up, I lost weight very much. We saw each other, I was in a tight-fitting suit, and he was stunned - you, you say, look great, sweetheart. And he stopped being needed, I stopped loving him. This is ridiculous - I lived for the thought that I could be perfect in his eyes. And when I finally lost weight, I realized that yes, now I don’t have fat and smaller clothes, but nothing dramatic happened. Nothing has changed at all, unless there is an inner feeling of lightness. Prince on a white horse, too, was not observed.
So you just got tired of losing weight?
No, I kept this weight for a while, working in a fitness club at the very beginning of my career. The size was about 44-46, and with my height I looked very thin. If you compare my photos at that time and now, then it will be impossible to recognize me - so much we became different with that girl. Even now I can be in such weight, but for this you need to go to the gym six times a week and severely restrict your diet. When I lived in this mode, then, in fact, there was simply no time left for life itself. Social life also avoided me, like any interests. In a sense, I wallowed in the fitness industry and at the same time began to organize parties - I felt that I had "redeemed" the sport. Naturally, hanging out and not drinking alcohol is unrealistic. In general, I started to get better back within a year, and the weight began to return.
How did your attitude to your body change from a psychological point of view? I understand that while you were thin, your body was embarrassing, so you worked on it all the time.
The problem with losing weight is that it is a vicious circle. After each kilogram dropped, the pen begins, which needs to be dropped again. You enter into a rage and you catch nirvana. In those moments, in a sense, I began to understand anorexic girls - they begin to experience psychological changes, and not only in food, because there are so many incomplete muscles in the body. You can start to kill yourself and turn on yoga, cardio, sauna, load yourself to the maximum. On the one hand, it was funny, but on the other - quickly tired too. Especially in combination with this Moscow club life, where everything is so bright and you start to consider yourself cool just in fact.
I had one trump card - I was pretty and thinner, but this is not enough in the conditions of Moscow competition
And how did you get into the Moscow modeling business?
I came to Moscow from Volgograd. There I worked as an advertising model and was very popular, even hung on billboards. In addition, I managed to realize my dream of filming and a TV presenter’s career, though only partially - I played some girl of the protagonist in episodes and received 800 rubles for it. After moving to Moscow, I began to look for work, call advertising agencies, send questionnaires , ask about the shooting, but they didn't call me anywhere. You sulk in acting - and there you need education. I looked at it all and realized that I was zero. I had one trump card - I was pretty and thinner, but this is not enough in the conditions of Moscow competition. Roles do not fall for beautiful eyes - you need to be talented, have connections and education. And I have it psychological. It became obvious that no one, in principle, needed me thin.
when did you understand this?
As soon as I recovered, I immediately felt the difference in what work can be and how much it can be. I am now not working anywhere, focusing only on the modeling business. The publications in magazines go one after another, I distribute the interviews, and there are so many of them that even the model colleagues from the agency reproach a little: "Dilya, you have forgotten how to rejoice in trifles." The reason is that after a few years of life in Moscow, the degree of provincialism was asleep, when you take everything with delight in everything - from minor shootings to new pleasant acquaintances.
Parents support your work and know what you do?
My parents are Muslims, I, probably, too, but I do not strictly adhere to strict postulates, as they do. I have the right family, my father is a police colonel, I am a daughter of a responsible person, I went by an armored car at the time. They are very concerned about what their relatives from Volgograd will think, especially their mother. When she arrived in Moscow, she began to keep a page for me in social networks, initially refusing to upload there any photos that she considered provocative. But Moscow is liberating. Now she says: "Oh, well, you're in a bathing suit, everything is fine." Despite the fact that I have a very close relationship with my mother, she constantly nags me with the phrase "you need to lose weight." It goes on the air - "you're there full." The photograph is published - "you are there full." In the end, I say: mom, yes, I basically complete. She is trying to encrypt me with clothes, however, this is our family matter - I am a master of disguise. It's very funny to pretend that you're thinner. Now I just want to be myself - well-groomed donut, which sets an example to other girls with confidence. Although I was lucky with the face, with any other appearance I would not for a second cease to feel charming and sexy.
To show how the characters see themselves, we invited them to make a self-portrait
The photo: Dilyara Larina
How did this transition from rejection of yourself to love your body take place?
Harmony with oneself and the body comes spontaneously. Men play their role in this, because they like absolutely all the characters. The concept of the "ideal figure" for them simply does not exist - everyone fetishes what he wants. Walk through the groups of the VKontakte plus-models - and you will understand that 70% of men simply drag themselves from such girls. They all, so to speak, exposed. But even if you look perfect in your presentation, they may demand to lose weight. I was thin with a third breast size, but something still did not suit them. Some of them even offered me to be a kept woman - in general, no respect. Everything changed when I ceased to be shocked, I found a gloss, confidence in my eyes, and now I have other men - those who know what I do and love me like that. They really like that I am a plus-size model.
Do not you think that despite the appearance of plus-size on the catwalks and at the turn of the magazines, it is all perceived as exotic? Can this be somehow changed?
No matter how you love yourself, society is still not ready for full models. I have a feeling that we are some kind of freaks for them - they are interviewing and typing in gloss in the “Special Project” category. Awesome tolerance. Is that for the film industry overweight people have ceased to be exotic - everyone understands that a person is supposed to play a role. Such perceptions can be changed by clothing designers and your attitude towards yourself. Now, after all, how: you come to the store, and there all the plus-size collections are hidden, hidden in the corners. You go in the fitting room, and in the next girl whisper: "Oh, this is clothing for the tank." You participate in an avant-garde performance in front of a Rublevian audience, where a crowd of full girls with cellulite and fat begins to dance, and the audience throws their hands and shouts: "Lord, what a nightmare!" Then I came up and danced right in front of their nose. Or in the subway you ask for a place to give you, and they answer you: "What are you, pregnant or something?" No, I'm not pregnant, just a girl. And he says: "But the girl is very arrogant!" - and the place is still inferior. At such moments I feel super-dude in a blue cloak and often play it. In general, when you don’t like something, start correcting it yourself. And let designers put mannequins with clothes of large sizes - and this will be a promotion, but not completeness, but freedom: the main value is your body, and you can throw anything you like on it.
When I had the third breast size, I ruled the world, when I became the sixth - my power increased
Every girl likes or dislikes something in her body. And you?
I adore my chest. Boobs rule the world. When I had the third breast size, I ruled the world, when I became the sixth - my power increased. But no longer necessary, because the government can quickly burst. I don’t like my feet - they are wide but small, and the fingers are also small and plump. I look at it this way: I have a beautiful unusual face, long hair and very long legs and waist. I wanted to shit on these sandals.
Is there an ideal male beauty for you?
The perfect man is Gerard Butler. What is he brutal, oh, mommy. Everyone thinks that since you are full, you should choose a man bigger than you, but I'd rather be with a thin, exhausted wickedness - I only like those. From personal fetishes - press: you lie, you iron it in the morning - and the day is set. During sex, I used to feel insecure before, but over the years I realized that during lovemaking, men simply do not look at your figure. They look into the eyes and what you can do in bed. No, they, of course, perfectly see everything and notice, but are already in such a state of passion that it ceases to matter. If you feel cool, then there will be a man. Therefore, have sex. Do not talk about their shortcomings. Radiate charm to everyone in a row. Flirt - it is available and everyone can do it. You just need to relax, make up, pack, put on a dress and go - and then, wherever you appear, you will feel cool.