Finger Sex: A Fingering Guide that is worth keeping on hand
"How do you do this? Please show me “I also want to be able to do that!” fingers - almost universal sex device. Fine motor skills allows you to get a bunch of new sensations, and the intensity, speed and volume can be adjusted instantly. It seems that fingering is underestimated and is considered at best an optional element This is a full-fledged sexual practice, which can give a completely new idea about sex. We understand how to do fingering and what to talk about in the process.
The article describes vaginal fingering and vulvar fingering, and the term "woman" is also used. However, not all women have vaginas, and not all people with vaginas are women. The techniques described in the article may also be appropriate for some non-binary and transgender people.
TEXT: Sasha Kazantseva, leading telegram channel "washed hands"
What happens to fingering
At the word "fingering", many will introduce fingers penetrating into the vagina, but in fact this practice has many options. For example, genital fingering does not necessarily imply penetration: fingering of the vulva - that is, caressing the fingers from the outside - may well be pleasant in itself. Of the types of vaginal fingering, tambing (penetration with the thumb) is singled out separately. Short thumb allows you to actively influence the walls of the first third of the vagina, where the largest number of nerve endings are located. In this case, the presence of a clear "limiter" - the palm - allows you to relax those who like shallow penetration.
Anal fingering - This is the impact of a finger on the anus, with or without penetration. Anal fingering can complement any actions with the vagina or vulva, including combining it with the vaginal fingering. For the latter, you will need to use two hands at once, or one, but with flexible fingers.
Oral fingering - as the name implies, it’s about the penetration of fingers into the partner’s or partner’s mouth. Someone can use this practice as an additional to kiss or to sex, but for someone she can be full-fledged sex - for example, for some lesbians and transgender people. Some people like to take one or two fingers to a shallow depth, others like all four and deep enough. In the latter case, be careful: the relationship with the gag reflex is different.
Finishes the parade of "finger" sex terms toing (toeing) - sexual stimulation with the toes. Toing more often concerns stimulation of the vulva, but some like shallow vaginal penetration with the big toe. For this practice, it is important to take care of cleanliness and trimmed nails - however, the same applies to regular fingerings.
This article focuses on the vaginal fingering and the vulva fingering. Nevertheless, many types of fingering can be combined with each other, as well as combined with other practitioners.
Where to begin?
Like any sexual practice, fingering should begin with the question of whether your partner wants it. Some women exclude penetration in general, and those who love do not always prefer to receive it in the form of a fingering. And, of course, even with a big love for fingerings, you may not want it from time to time - therefore it is important not to forget about the principle of consent.
Remember that everyone has different erogenous zones and different sexual preferences. And if some kind of stimulation was liked by your previous partner (and even all your previous partners), it’s not a fact that he will be pleasant to the woman who is right next to you. Someone likes active penetration, someone - gentle caress of the clitoris, someone, on the contrary, avoids touching the clitoris, and for someone anal penetration is more pleasant than vaginal. In addition, the preferences of the same person may vary from time to time.
"Do you want me to ask you before you enter?" - this question is important to ask before sex, so as not to harm the person
The best way to find out about your partner's needs is to ask her. I usually ask questions like: "How do you feel about penetration? Can you penetrate, is it nice to you?" If I get an affirmative answer, then I ask about pleasant woman techniques: “Do you have any favorite movements inside? Can you show in the air? And how do you like more on pace? And there are some limitations - something that you don’t like ? "
If during masturbation your partner stimulates the vulva or vagina with your fingers and is ready to show your technique to you, observe which parts of the vulva it affects, what stimulation it uses, how deeply and at what angle it penetrates the vagina. To make it easier for you to reproduce her actions, you can offer her to masturbate with your hand. This often helps build a suitable fingering technique. Nevertheless, for some, sex with one's own hand and with a stranger is two different practices in which different techniques work.
"Do you want me to ask you before you enter?" - This question is important to ask before sex, so as not to harm the person. Perhaps your partner will choose penetration without warning (but in this case, take care of the stop word) or say that she will give a sign when you can enter. In any case, it is important that the receiving party has a choice in advance and an opportunity to influence the situation - this is how the principle of consent works.
Talk
When you try new equipment and are looking for suitable ones, it is important to be "in touch" with your partner in order to understand whether she likes what is happening, whether something needs to be corrected - or, on the contrary, should be continued without changing anything. When I penetrate my partner, then from time to time I ask: “Do you do everything right? Do you want something else?”, “Do you feel comfortable with such speed / with so many fingers / so deep?”, “Try something else or continue to do , what are you doing? "," Do you want the fourth finger now? " Accordingly, if they penetrate me, I can say something like: "And let's slow down?", "Can you shift a little bit more to the right?", "Add another finger plz", "Oh, don't touch that here - let me I will show you where it is necessary, "" Wow, and here it is so very cool! "
Find out in advance how to do better when your partner comes to orgasm: it will be important for someone to keep the rhythm of movements at this moment and not stop, someone, on the contrary, wants to stop touching her at once. It is important to find out how this works for a particular person - in order not to accidentally break someone else's pleasure.
Fingering vulva
You warmed up, and your partner is ready to move on to stimulate her genitals. Regardless of whether you agreed on penetrating or only on external stimulation, it still makes sense to start with touching the vulva. Apply a lubricant to your fingers and start with slow movements with “broad strokes”. For example, slowly describe the circles along the contour of the vulva, or move up and down along the labia minora with the front and back of the hand alternately. You can also gently press your fingers to different parts of the vulva or lean your palm against the vulva and begin to describe the circles. Do not switch movements too abruptly, especially at the beginning - give your partner time to get comfortable and understand how she is with each of the techniques. If in doubt, ask questions.
After a while, you can go to the direct caress of the clitoris. For many women, this is the most pleasant part of the vulva fingering - but not for everyone. So do not forget to clarify the tastes of your partner. If you want to offer your own stimulation options, then often with a bang, finger moves up and down the clitoris: through the center of the clitoris or on one of its sides; movements left and right; circular movements around the clitoris; circular movements with a finger or several fingers pressed to the clitoris. It may turn out that it is more pleasant for a woman when your finger is not pressed firmly against the head of the clitoris, but a little to the right, left, above or below. Experiment and specify in the process. And do not forget to ask whether the current speed and pressure are suitable for the partner - much depends on these parameters too.
Vaginal fingering
What to do inside the vagina? For starters, you can master the popular techniques of vaginal fingering, some of which will certainly suit your partner. And remember that by default it is better to start penetration with one finger.
"Alluring Movement". One of the most popular fingering techniques. Place the index finger inside the vagina so that the fingertip is turned towards the front wall and the nail towards the back. Begin to bend your finger as if trying to lure someone. At the same time, the pad will fall on the front wall in the first third of the vagina. It may take a little time to discover the area that is most pleasant to touch. If the partner asks to add a finger - add the middle one and fold it so that both pads are located side by side.
"Fixation". This technique is similar to the previous one, but here the fingers will be static: you will move your hand from the shoulder. Attach the pads of one or two fingers to the front wall of the vagina - so that they touch the area, the stimulation of which is most pleasant to your partner. Fix the bent fingers in a static position and, without changing the position of the hand, begin to move your hand towards yourself and back - the pads will slide along the front wall. Keep a not too large amplitude.
"Forward movement". Introduce straight fingers parallel to the walls of the vagina, move forward and backward. You can regulate, firstly, the depth of penetration: depending on the desire of your partner, you can enter "as far as it will go" - and on the way back you can remove your fingers from the vagina completely; or you can move with a small amplitude without leaving the vagina. You can reduce and increase the speed and, of course, change the number of fingers. Life hacking: if you penetrate with two fingers, try replacing the obvious index and middle with a pair of "middle + unnamed": many people like when the knuckles touch the vulva on both sides of the entrance.
"Pulsation". This is a more delicate version of "Moving Forward." Insert your fingers inside parallel to the walls of the vagina, if the partner is comfortable - then to the maximum depth. Fix the base of the fingers at the entrance (this will again help the use of middle and unnamed) - and begin to make pulsating movements towards the inside. If you want to vary the technique - try to press the pads closer to the front wall, keeping the fingers themselves straight.
"Corkscrew". With one or two fingers, begin to make "boring" movements, as if "screwing" into the vagina. Adjust the amplitude and angle of entry. Another version of this technique is to start depicting not a corkscrew, but a spoon, which you seem to be "scooping" from the vagina.
The fingers allow you to work on several "strategic" points inside and outside the vagina
Up-Down and Right-Left. Everything is simple here: place your fingers at a comfortable depth for your partner and lift them up and down (moving from the base) or move left or right (movement from the wrist).
"Freeze." In some cases, the partner may want you to simply enter a certain depth that is comfortable for her - and stay inside. However, she may want to move on the fingers herself. The opportunity for a good amplitude will give a pose like "rider", but in other positions you can make movements with your hips.
These techniques can be taken as a basis. Mastering them you may invent your own. The main thing - do not forget to "tighten up the settings" to the wishes of your partner. Remember that the fingers allow you to work on several "strategic" points inside and outside the vagina. Try to stimulate the vagina in different combinations, try the stimulation only with your little finger or just your thumb. You can also adjust the angle of inclination and the occurrence of fingers in different techniques. Choose the depth and amplitude of penetration suitable for the partner, speed of movements and intensity of influence.
But what about the clitoris?
For many, stimulation of the clitoris head is an important addition to vaginal penetration. If you have fingers left outside the vagina, try stimulating the clitoris with them. The classic options are to stimulate the clitoris with your thumb, while your index finger is inside the vagina, or to stimulate the clitoris with the index and middle fingers, while the inside of the vagina is big. If you have inserted the middle and ring fingers into the vagina until it stops - the clitoris will automatically be stimulated by the bent little finger and index finger. Also, nothing prevents you from interacting with the clitoris and other parts of the vulva with your free hand or tongue. Finally, the partner can caress the clitoris with her own hand - in case she likes this option. It may be that the head of the clitoris is not important for her at all - and it is better to direct free fingers to the perineum, anus or nipples.
What to do if fingers get tired of fingering? It happens to many. In such cases, try to change the technique - for example, the one that involves movement from the shoulder, not from the palm. Or just change your hand, go to cunnilingus, tribadism, sex toys or other exciting. If you crave finger exploits, you can train your fingers on a special simulator, or you can simply stock up on pulsing fingertips or even a finger extender.
Take care of safety
Before fingering, be sure to wash your hands, cut and file your nails, prepare a water-based or silicone-based lubricant. If at the moment you can not be sure of each other's health - be sure to protect yourself. Use latex gloves or put a condom on your fingers. Most gloves slightly reduce sensitivity, and they will definitely need a lubricant, but they sit tightly on the arm and will not be eaten even with the most intense actions. And gloves will save those who do not want to part with long nails: just put pieces of cotton wool in the glove “fingers”. Buy latex or nitrile gloves - including vigorous colors like red and black - can be easily made in online stores and pharmacies. Condoms are usually thinner than gloves - but holding them on your fingers is not always convenient. Some women also like to use the female condom during fingering. In Russia, female condoms are not as common, but if you get caught, try experimenting.
Photo: barbiebow - stock.adobe.com (1, 2, 3)
