Why don't we have to cook anymore

"The path to the heart of a man lies through the stomach" - despite the obvious archaic nature of this mantra, some still take it for granted. The image of a patriarchal family has long been morally obsolete and only harms women who have equal rights with men and are not obliged to prepare in order to please someone. Together with the Delivery Club we understand why, despite the toxic clichés and disputes with a conservative grandmother, women increasingly refuse to cook and do not regret anything.

Why are women cooking less in the modern world?

Women fly into space, become presidents, serve in special forces, are brilliant neurosurgeons, fight in the ring and, in fact, work very hard. For example, 77% of women work in Russia - they all get tired on a par with men and often do not want to spend free evenings at the stove. It is strange to shift this duty only to a woman when she returns home from the office almost no later than her husband.

More women have less obligations to the family - you can live alone, refuse to give birth to children, or simply choose a partner, agreeing on an equal division of duties or a complete refusal to cook. The pressure is obviously less (although the problem has not yet been solved), and it became much easier to decide to cook and live for yourself. Moreover, capitalism offers enough ways to dodge cooking: food delivery, cooking, restaurants, canteens, fast food.

Ani, head of L'Box and NewBeautyBox services I cook very well, but I don’t see much point in this - it’s strange to waste your time in the kitchen in the era of the division of labor. It is good that there are people who make this work faster and better. Besides, expecting a woman to love washing and cooking is old-fashioned - these are not the skills and qualities that are important in a person.

Okay, but for what reason are women still waiting for the love of cooking?

The point is not only cooking. For women in general, they make sometimes conflicting demands. It would be nice to be sexy, but at the same time modest; keep the whole house clean, but at the same time make good money; be smart and fun, but never compete with men; to breastfeed a child up to a year, but God forbid to pass for "ovulyushkoy" Yes, the struggle for equality helped women in many ways, but at the same time expanded the list of demands to infinity.

Now the ideal woman should simultaneously shine with fresh styling and manicure, move swiftly up the career ladder, read all the new literature, and still cook and wash the floors every other day. "There is no limit to perfection!" - beautiful women from instagram tell us, whose obedient children eat perfectly served dinners, and their own business makes money.

These role models, as well as advertisements that play with stereotypes about the ideal family, and just lovers send a woman to the kitchen according to the old memory and make them strive for an unattainable ideal. As a result, women feel guilty and inferior when they devote themselves only to their beloved work, and try to do everything at once. What is the difference that you have to give up sleep, rest and psychological comfort?

Daria, the stylist stopped cooking three years ago after breaking up with a guy. While we were living together, I sometimes bought food in cooking, put it on plates and gave it up as my own. I decided to create an image of an ideal girl — stereotypes are so strong that make you be a good girl, a beautiful woman, a modest girl, a good housewife, and it’s advisable to make a wheel

Who ever said that a woman should cook?

Patriarchate. In ancient times there was a fairly clear separation of duties between men and women. While the men went hunting and war, women prepared and raised children. You can easily guess whose duties were considered more prestigious and useful for the state, and who could only serve the needs of the family. For a long time, women could not work as men, but the industrial revolution changed everything — machine tools equalized everyone, and physical strength ceased to be an argument in the dispute over sex superiority. That’s exactly why in the early years of the USSR, the authorities sought to destroy "kitchen slavery". In communal houses, they specifically abandoned the kitchens in the apartments, and it was suggested to eat everything in the canteens.

But the centuries-old way of life created and completely baseless myths about intellectual superiority (after all, in the war, not only waving swords), which were supported not only by simple peasants, but also by philosophers, authorities and scientists. Researchers are still trying to figure out who is smarter, men or women, measuring the weight, size and components of the brain.

The woman was imposed and imposed traditional activities - cooking, cleaning, childcare. Everything so as not to distract a man from truly important matters. Stereotypes are so strong that even though women are forced to cook, they are rarely allowed into high-class cuisine - it is believed that the chef should be a man, because this is a complex intellectual work and creative flair. For example, in the UK, only 18% of women can be found among chefs

How do these expectations put pressure on a woman? We live in the XXI century, she can simply refuse it!

Yes, maybe, but many representatives of the older generation or even young men like to send a woman to the kitchen, pointing her to "her place". The destruction of stereotypes does not go off painlessly, and some people find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that men and women now live on an equal footing - go to work, have fun, raise children and cook.

Evgenia, director of communications for the Pioneer film company, secular columnist of Kommersant I do not cook. About ten years ago I reached an absolute height in this matter - I rented an apartment in which there was no kitchen. There was a closet in which there was a microwave and an electric kettle. Girlfriends did not understand, mother did not understand on raised voices

Well, but if a woman is at home, she still has nothing to do? Let him cook!

Labor housewives often underestimate. Spending time with children, going grocery shopping, washing windows and washing things is also work. True, the housewife does not have the opportunity to escape from the office and forget about all affairs until the next morning - she lives at work and has no clear timetable. In addition, the monotony of household chores bothers, and cooking dinner is somehow impossible - after all, it’s about the loved ones, not the boss who can turn a blind eye to a poorly done project. Relaxing to make breakfast on Sunday can be nice, but cooking soup every day will bother anyone. So yes, housewives also have the right to rest and should not be ashamed to make their lives easier.

Daria, stylist Women work a lot now, and even those who are not obsessed with their careers have many other things to do. It takes a lot of time to create comfortable living conditions, and cooking can be easily abandoned. Why buy your car and spend money on parking and gasoline, if you can order a taxi and safely drive for the same money?

Or maybe she just likes to cook? Is the kitchen an absolute evil?

Of course, many women and men like to cook. There are women chefs, culinary bloggers, even in VKontakte there are a lot of feminist public tables where girls exchange simple recipes or unnecessary products. For their participants cooking without coercion is commendable. It allows you to ethically spend resources, boycott the giants of fast food, who pay unfair wages to their employees, and just be proud of themselves. Feminists believe that each of us should be able to clean or fry eggs, regardless of gender. The ability to take care of themselves in everyday life defines us as adults and responsible people who do not pretend that cooking buckwheat is a bigger accomplishment than launching a rocket into space.

Ani, head of L'Box and NewBeautyBox services. Once I moved to a new apartment and for a long time I couldn’t buy dishes that would suit me. So I lived for several months with one plate - I just ordered food and felt great, but I also realized that it was more pleasant to spend the vacated time on work or a hobby.

If a woman is still tired of cooking, how can you simplify her life?

If earlier there was a speech that a man should help with household chores, now cleaning and cooking is considered a common cause, and dinner prepared by her husband is perceived in the order of things. The Guardian recently released a funny and comprehensive comic at the same time. A woman does not need help - all things should be divided equally. Well, in order to simplify the life of the whole family, there are enough ways - from the planned purchase of food at the weekend, so as not to waste time on weekdays, before delivering food and choosing favorite cooking near the house.

Evgenia, director of communications for the Pioneer film company, secular columnist of Kommersant. Now I have a kitchen, but my husband almost does not let me go to the stove - he loves and knows how to cook, although he rarely does this. We have too free schedule, too much work and interests.

The material was prepared with the support of:

Thanks for the help in organizing the filming of stores Crate & Barrel and Poison Drop.