"I did not think about the future": Girls about holiday romance
Holiday novels often turn into screenwriting - whether it's Vicky Cristina Barcelona by Woody Allen or the numerous romcoms. In real life, few people take such plots seriously, considering that the "vacation" relationship has no future. It happens so, but sometimes the novel continues even after returning home. We talked with different girls about how their resort relationships were tied up and how it all ended.
For about a year, I was in a toxic relationship, and another half tried to extricate myself from them. My ex was a canonical abuser: "Do not go anywhere, sit with me"; "You're old and nobody needs"; "You are not a man, but a useless creature, you will die of cancer," and similar "revelations." Periodically, he cheated and blamed me for this. Over time, I began to believe him - even checked if I had any tumors. The tumor, fortunately, was not, but from the constant stress began to problems with his hand. When we started dating only for sex, I realized that I was rapidly losing time: the addiction did not recede. In the midst of trash came December - a week before the New Year, I bought tickets to Bali and flew there together with my girlfriend, not coming to my senses.
On the island I met an old acquaintance: I knew him for five years, noddingly, through mutual friends. I am three years older than him, so I never took it seriously, but in Bali we began to turn around by itself. First, I spent the first five days of vacation in a room with a book, and on the sixth I decided to go out for the first time. Secondly, it was necessary to entertain myself somehow, and it is easier for a little familiar person to confide. Thirdly, the wedge knock out the wedge. However, while we were on another continent, I did not particularly think about the future: I was more than enough to ride a moped, beaches and lunches to bed. Gradually, I began to get used to it, but the holidays were over. I didn’t imagine the continuation in Moscow, so I decided to lie low and not agree to further meetings. I was not ready for change, and I just forgot how people build relationships in their usual environment.
But in Moscow he took a careful starvation, and gradually I began to thaw. I even invited him somehow to myself, which was completely impossible before: I always jealously protected my personal space. On that day, he decided not to go back to himself, and I’m kidding that he got accustomed to me like a cat. Gradually, I began to learn that there are men in the world who do not lie, do not change, walk with my dog in the cold, clean my car and do not mind me meeting with my friends. For some, this is absolutely normal, but at that time it seemed to me that they were saving me from a burning house. The lump in my throat gradually resolved, I began to sleep normally and forgot what it was to wait for days on the phone. It was not easy for me to believe in myself and another person again. It is terrible to imagine what it would be like if I stayed in Moscow or go to some other place. I am happy that these New Year holidays have happened to me, which have not ended for eight months already. It turned out that you had to put yourself on a plane and change the situation.
We met in Egypt more than ten years ago. I was nineteen, he was twenty-one. I rested with my mother, he - with a friend. There was nothing between us, we didn’t even kiss - but we spoke so much in English that we didn’t notice how these days went. He became my first love, I am for him too. We communicated only four or five days; then he returned home to Serbia, I went to Kiev. When parting, we agreed that we would meet again, and I had no doubt that it would be so. I really wanted him to come to visit me, but my parents made repairs - then he invited me to his place in Belgrade. I am not an adventurer, but I got on a train, came to him, immediately met his parents, and we spent two or three weeks together. So we started a relationship. He wore me in his arms in the literal and figurative sense, gave gifts to the best of his ability (we were both students, moonlighting). After a month and a half, he came to me.
The next six years, we met at a distance. They called up every day, he wrote “Good Morning” to me, and in the evenings they wished each other good night. Used all existing at that time social networks. I spent his summer and winter holidays, he came to me in the spring and autumn. It was very hard, but we loved each other very much, almost did not quarrel. Our relatives and friends perceived us as a family.
In time, I wanted more. Then he made me an offer, but I didn’t know what to do next, and for the last two years we started to quarrel over it. Unfortunately, he was not ready for such a serious step, but he could not part with me. Therefore, I made the decision, although I loved it very much. We talked on Skype. After that, I came to my senses for a year, really missed me, I didn't want anyone or anything. But time heals: I had a different relationship, and then I met my husband, with whom we have been together for six years, we have a child. I am still grateful to that partner, these were wonderful years together. I grew up in this relationship, and the parting taught me a lot too, I became more independent.
My mother and I had a tradition: to go to Turkey twice a year, to hotels in the vicinity of the resort town of Side. For ten years of this holiday I have had many romantic acquaintances. One even dragged on for four summers, but still did not claim the status of love. It was a charismatic photographer with whom we lived a small life during our holidays: parties, passion, scandals and parting almost forever. With him, I planned to spend my vacation again that year.
I was walking along the beach, and a tanned handsome man literally crashed into me - an instructor in windsurfing. He invited me to ride a catamaran for free. I refused: beach-fiction novels I had long overgrown, besides, my photographer was waiting for me. But after a few days with the latter, we strongly quarreled, and I decided in hearts to accept the invitation of a nice instructor. After a walk on a catamaran, he offered dinner. I dressed for dinner, and he was after work in a T-shirt and shorts and asked to come to his house to change clothes. In my experience, when a man immediately takes you to his home, everything happens very rapidly, so I even thought of a plan of retreat - but, to my great surprise, it was not useful. We arrived in the village of several villas united by a pool, entered the three-story house where he lived with his mother. While my companion was changing clothes, I drank wine and looked at his surfing medals. That evening we walked a lot around Side, went to his favorite bars, talked endlessly, laughed, sometimes he held my hand. Then we had two more dates. At the end of the second, he asked: "Well, will you marry me?" I agreed as a joke, and he replied that he was not joking. Three days later I flew home.
Unlike the novels, which fade away, as soon as you disappear from each other's sight, everything was different. Usually, Turkish boyfriends only remind themselves of themselves in winter, when the tourist season ends and they have a lot of free time. And my new friend immediately began to call and write, we constantly chatted on Skype. A month later, he bought me a plane ticket to spend my birthday together. I flew to Turkey again. Once, when we were returning from the beach, he offered to go to the jewelry store of his friends, where he unexpectedly presented me with a diamond ring. I accepted the gift, and it became clear that this was not just a holiday romance.
But we wanted to know each other better. I flew to him again in October, he came to me for Christmas, met my family and friends. I liked in him an insane energy, reinforced concrete willpower, an innate sense of justice, strength. At the same time he danced in the morning and rejoiced at trifles. I also wanted to plunge into this happiness: in March I moved to Turkey, in May we got married. Our wedding, as I dreamed, was on the beach. Taking care of the family, he changed the instructor’s job to a more profitable one, rented a shop at a five-star hotel, worked seventeen hours a day.
My friends discouraged me from a dramatic change of scenery: work in gloss and traveling around the world, I traded for a life in the village. They also wondered what I would talk to him about when the “chemistry” would pass, they thought that my husband (by the way, the second) should be a doctor of science or a perfumer. But in many life moments he was much more experienced and wiser than me. We still talk in English: there is no time for languages yet, because nine months after the wedding our son was born. The first diaper changed him dad, and the first time he fed from a bottle too, while I was moving away from anesthesia. How to live with a Turkish man, even a young, modern, Europeanized, is a separate story. The main thing - I absolutely do not regret my choice.
One night before bed, I looked through the Facebook tape and saw repost at my friend: the Englishman wrote that he would like to go for a walk around Moscow and drink coffee. I liked, and a few days later I found a message in the requests for correspondence. It turned out that he was a good friend of my husband's friend. The guy lived in Austria, where later my friends and I were passing through. He offered to meet and give beer to our entire company, but I refused. It was scary to see a stranger: you never know what a person has in mind. We returned to Moscow, he constantly wrote, called, sent photos of landscapes of Austria and England, even hinted at the possibility of relationships at a distance. Trifle, but nice: he bought me a teddy bear in London when he learned that I am very sick with the flu.
Six months later I flew to Europe again, and we agreed to spend the day in Vienna. When I drove up to my destination by taxi, I was so worried that I wanted to ask the driver to turn the car around and take me back. But I plucked up courage and came to the meeting. He looked even better than the photo. I was so nervous that I confused English words, but then I calmed down and it became easier to communicate. We had a great time walking around Vienna. And when they ate Italian ice cream at the cafe, he solemnly handed me that very teddy bear. A taxi came to me right at the cafe - I didn't want to go back to the hotel late. He took me to the car, kissed me on the cheek and said: "See you again!" And I, naive, thought he would offer to meet. There was a feeling that I was deceived, tears were coming to my eyes. A week later, he called me and said: "I really liked you, but I am not ready to meet at a distance." I calmed down and continued to live my life. Our communication has been reduced to polite congratulations on holidays.
Three years have passed since that Vienna walk. The funny thing is that I recently met him in the center of Moscow: I ran to work, thought about mine, and then a vaguely familiar guy walked past me. After a few seconds, I realized who it was, but he was already lost in the crowd. In the evening he wrote on Facebook, offered to meet, but I refused. Between us there will always be thousands of kilometers, and empty hopes for the possibility of relationships will only spoil everything. It was an interesting experience, but I don’t believe in beautiful words about possible relationships from a distance.
We met in Bali four years ago. It was my dream to go to the local surf camp - once I packed up a suitcase and flew off for two weeks to study surfing. In Bali, I had a girlfriend who moved there to live. She invited me to meet her Australian friend, who also flew in for the holidays - it became interesting to me.
I really liked the Australian at first sight - he amazed me with charisma, courage, sense of humor. His Australian accent is strong enough, and I understood about 80% of his speech, but I clarified the details with ease, and he was glad to explain. The sympathy was mutual, we had a great evening. I didn’t expect the meeting to have a sequel, usually resort novels are transient. But we spent the next five days together. It turned out we both love outdoor activities and adore the ocean. We spent days surfing, freediving, and in the evenings we had dinner on the ocean. On the eve of my return to St. Petersburg, he suggested that I stay for a couple more days before his departure. I agreed, and he immediately bought me a new ticket - a bold act, showing how strong his sympathy was.
We went to different parts of the world. Despite falling in love, I did not expect our communication to continue. However, the next day we began to correspond. We communicated almost round the clock, more and more understanding how our ideas about life coincide. After just three months after returning, I again packed up for departure to Bali - now with a one-way ticket. We agreed to spend four more weeks together and then finally decide what will happen next. This month together showed that it is love and it is mutual. Two months later, he made me an offer. Seventy people from all over the world flew to our wedding. As a result, we lived in Bali for two happy years, applied for my permanent residence visa in Australia, traveled around Europe, visited Russia twice, where my husband met my family and friends.
Since 2016, we live in Australia, Queensland. This is the most beautiful and happy place on earth, I sincerely love this country. My husband and I have many common hobbies, my favorite are freediving and underwater hunting. We are very lucky to find each other. I think the secret of happy relationships is not to meet the “ideal half” - more important are the common views, interests and plans for life, love and respect for each other.
Photo: sonyachny - stock.adobe.com, Prostock-studio - stock.adobe.com, Monki, TheRealReal