How to ruin your life: Bad tips from romcoms
Daria Tatarkova
This season is rich on a romantic movie - a movie with Daniel Radcliffe and Zoya Kazan was recently released "Friendship and No Sex?" Behind the confusing title lies the original “What If”, from which it immediately becomes clear that the heroes met at the wrong time in the wrong place - otherwise they would have been all right at once. The film did not become any revelation and went on the trodden path romkomovyh cliches. We decided to remember what other paths are regularly found in romantic comedies and why listening to the advice embedded in them is a bad thing.
Social differences - no problem
No matter how much you want to believe that love knows no barriers, in real life, things are not so simple. Since people are still more than labels like "businessman", "whore" or "cleaner", their emotional baggage is both bigger and heavier. Mutual sympathy is not the key to solving all problems. After the first enthusiasm passes, parenting differences invariably emerge that no longer seem nice, discrepancies in tastes and habits more significant than the inability to choose wallpaper together, and the inevitable misunderstanding growing from a very different background and future plans.
A beautiful gesture is the key to solving any problem.
Classics of the genre. Every first romcom is allowed by the fact that the main character / main character asks for forgiveness / proves his love / stops her beloved on the way to the airport by some spectacular gesture. Who in his youth had not dreamed that it was her young man who rolled up so beautifully that all the girlfriends could take their breath away — or, at worst, stand under a window with a boombox. Anyone who has at least one more or less serious relationship confirms exactly the opposite: if after a big quarrel instead of letting each other think or talk about what happened, someone will wake up the whole house with your favorite song, most likely, he will earn not an instant forgiveness, but a bucket of water on his head.
Relationships do not stick - start new
Romantic comedies often begin with the fact that one, or even both of the main characters do not stick their personal lives. Her boyfriend is too boring and keeps sticking out in the evenings at work, his girlfriend - on the contrary, does not miss a single party and gets drunk as in college. And instead of trying to figure out what your problem is and how you can solve it, the heroes plunge headlong into exciting new relationships with the one / only one they met against the background of the current discord. Needless to say, over time, unresolved internal problems will give way to delight, and the heroes after the happy end will have to wonder why again nothing happened. Here is a terrible truth: relationships require effort - do not trust anyone who tries to impose anything else on you. For many, life is becoming a stumbling block, but here only a psychologist will help you, and not a typical Roman, because non-stop romance always passes, and this should be treated philosophically.
Want to like it? Take off your glasses
Another gold mine Hollywood movies and TV shows in the history of their existence. Contrary to any common sense, the cliché of “plain girls with glasses” is still alive and mercilessly exploited. The moral of most romcoms is simple: do not be born beautiful, but be born with a personal stylist who will explain that in order to win his heart, you just need to take off your glasses and dissolve your hair. The magical transformation will immediately have an effect, and the object of sighs will open its eyes and he will understand how stupid he has been all this time. Under the guise of the idea of “being yourself”, it’s very often hiding “be yourself, only in a make-up”, but why waste time and emotional forces on a person who is prevented from seeing other glasses is not clear at all.
You just feel he is the only one
We stopped waiting for the wedding, but for some reason didn’t stop waiting for a miracle when it came to serious relationships. Romkoms are systematically trying to devalue the acquisition of new and different experiences, constantly promoting the idea of the "only" true love. On the fingers, you can count the opposite, where the characters do not lose a chance for happiness only because they had a long, filled relationship not in the singular. Here is a "breaking news" for you: a person can have if not a lot, then just a few meaningful relationships in his entire life - and it is not necessary that you learn about them at first glance. It may very well be that you will not accidentally meet in a huge city all the time, and taking each other’s hand will not feel how your whole future life will pass by before your eyes - simply because ordinary people have much more ordinary things than in the movies , - and that's fine.
Friendship sex is a great start to big love.
New crazy find - extreme romanticization of sex for one night. Let's be honest: most had it. Many had relationships built solely on their physiological side. But almost no one, they do not grow into something more if only because if two people have such an incredible mutual understanding and looseness with each other, they simply will not even think about focusing on sex. Well, those who choose only him certainly will not strive to plunge headlong into relationships that they so diligently avoid. And the last thing: to seek love for life through sex without commitment is an option that is doomed to failure.
Be unavailable - and people will reach for you
The most touching myth is the myth of inaccessibility. Even the unknown at some point ceases to stir up interest. Very quickly, all this will turn into a game of sociopath and stalker, where one is pathologically hiding, and the second does not obsessively lag behind. If you have no problems with functioning in society and this is a strange question of principle, then very soon it will resolve itself. The one who tries to catch you will get tired of all this and he will return to his normal life. If you run away at a crucial moment, secretly hoping that they will run after you and find you in a city of many millions, you will be bitterly disappointed. You’ll have to get cold on the street alone, until you’re ponorously wandering, still alone, home.
He will change for the sake of love
Many people enter into a relationship, having been convinced, thanks to the films, to think that your chosen one will change for the better. An unpleasant brute, a relaxed drug addict or a complete asshole, whom the main character has loved, will surely melt for her and expose her vulnerable soul. So is your partner: it will happen by all means as you would like, and all this is due to your all-consuming and boundless love. Relations, undoubtedly, transform a person, but counting on it, entering into them, is a mistake number one. The way you change, it’s possible to assume that your family psychoanalyst, so expecting you to love someone so much that he stops throwing socks is a direct road to bitter disappointments and scandals. Accept each other as you are, do not build unrealistic one-sided expectations and work on yourself. From this description, of course, the film would have turned out the most boring, but what to do.
Relationships can start with lies
Come up with a plan that is more cunning, and even better - argue with someone, because this is a direct path to true love, according to romantic comedies. Relationships built on lies, become new black, because all this time you are incredibly suffering, hiding the truth in the name of love. After your fraud is revealed, you should definitely resort to point number 2 and use the Big Spectacular Gesture. Further events will develop on the thumb (actually not): you will be forgiven for everything, because you have learned the Lesson, and finally, happy, you will go to the sunset with your new wonderful relationship.