I am a victim of street harassment and no longer want to endure them
The day before yesterday I had to get off the bus two stops before his. In fact, I can hardly be called a lover of evening walks in bad weather, but a man of about thirty who was sitting next to me with a worn briefcase on his knees and a ridiculous wool cap on top of his head the last ten minutes of the way repeated like a routine: “Girl, what is your name?” then how are you? Well, are you silent? I can take you home. " Salon ringing silence froze in anticipation of my answer, and the man more and more insistently and louder offered to bring me at least to the entrance. At the eleventh minute, I could not stand it and left. A week ago, a young man near the Strelka happily noticed that I was chewing the cud with particular enthusiasm, and two days before the clay-stained man with a shovel, emerging from the pit, nodded to his colleague: “Look what legs have gone!”
This can happen at any time of the day or night in any area of any city. Men of all ages in Solyanka, Frunzenskaya and in Belyaevo tell me how best to walk down the street, choose ready-to-cook foods at Crossroads, pay at the checkout counter and order spiced tea at the nearest coffee shop. They are ready to come up and start a conversation while I am standing in line at the pharmacy, waiting for the bus, going home or getting exhausted with five bags at the ready.
Most of the comments sound ridiculous and ridiculous, some - offensive and stupid. The funny thing is that only a third really wants to meet (and does it, as a rule, in a very straightforward manner). It seems that the rest enjoy their own jokes and condescending remarks, knowing that the response will most likely not follow. As if the manner of commenting on everything that happens on the Internet becomes so familiar that it breaks through into real life. And now someone's naked ankles are a good reason to come close and slyly utter another banal vulgarity.
Similar stories are taken with laughter to tell friends or post on Facebook, but in fact there is little funny in them. I do not feel safe in public transport or on the street in the middle of the day. I cannot predict what this awkwardly smiling boy will tell me now and whether he will turn out to be a psychopath who will follow me to the door of the entrance. No one will give me guarantees that, having weighed another compliment, he will not want to go on to a decisive offensive.
So far, the most effective method of preventing such encroachments on my personal space is still the bitchy resting face. Yes, let the whole world consider me sullen and angry, but better this way than to receive another greasy joke in response to the on-duty smile of politeness. In addition, I practically do not wear short shorts and mini-skirts, I do not paint my lips with bright lipstick, if I plan to return home late at night and alone, I do not look into the eyes of people around in public transport and do not start small talk with bartenders or barista. About heels, probably, even not worth it. However, none of this guarantees me a calm way home or lunch alone.
On request, "street harassment" Google produces a paltry 93 thousand matches. For comparison - on a similar request in English, the search engine offers 16 million links. Girls in public VKontakte discuss how best to respond to rude and greasy jokes. In the neighboring community, it is advised how to avoid such situations (in fact, in any way). A recent conversation with friends showed that we all face a common problem. Each of them had a couple of stories of absurd acquaintances and tackles for me, which would turn even the most cheerful extrovert into a quiet social foto. No one wants to be drilled for a long time in a subway car or in a store near a shelf with yogurts, frankly considered or offered to help with the choice of "something special for tea." It is unpleasant to constantly be in a situation where you are evaluated and studied.
Of course, street harassment did not appear yesterday. It was possible to receive an inappropriate compliment five years ago, but now we have to deal with this more often. On the one hand, we are all accustomed to the fact that you can get acquainted with a couple of swipes to the right and two messages of three words. On the other hand, we don’t know how to start a conversation in real life. Hence all these “what a bum” and “you are like Lolita from Humbert’s fantasies” (a real case!) From unfamiliar guys on the street, as if copied from Tinder's worst correspondences.
Maybe these men no one taught to respect the opposite sex? In a country where women for equal work continue to receive 20% less than men, and the main achievement in the life of a woman is considered to be the birth of a child, it is not customary to speak of gender equality and respect in social studies or in the family circle. In addition, we must not forget that we are a rather sullen and disunited nation, which began to use parks and other public spaces for its intended purpose only five years ago, and it is still learning to smile politely at the checkout or in the queue. Therefore, many manifestations of friendliness are still seen by many as a proposal to move to more decisive actions.
Glossy magazines continue to copy one after another instructions on how to attract the attention of the guy you like, first make acquaintance and make the proper impression, but almost no one talks about how to stop street harassment. Personally, I know only one way: never be silent. Do not shy away and smile shamefully when he heard another dubious compliment from an unfamiliar man in the queue, but turn around and say loudly: "I hate, but you should be ashamed!" Do not be silent when someone else is molested with awkward and inappropriate sentences. Do not be silent when there is an opportunity to share your experience and pay attention to the problem that is customary to hush up and translate into a joke. No one, except ourselves, will teach others to treat each other with respect, without any amendments to gender and appearance.
