Sergey Blokhin about the suffering of an abandoned man
Every time, when it comes to the "girls vs boys" competition, a sane person should understand that all such oppositions are conditional. In theory, modern people should be free from gender behavioral stereotypes. Nevertheless, the society continues to program girls with gentle, modest men, men as lacking in emotions, and if it is forbidden to attribute typological features to the sexes, then women’s journals and psychological practices will have to be canceled.
It so happened that last year I had three novels in a row, so I can be called a parting expert (or a loser, if you will). However, most of all I remember, as always, the very first time, which cannot be called a real “break”. I am 18 years old. I was sitting in the then purely student club "Propaganda", and on my knees Natasha, who in time between kisses has time to notice: "Do you understand that we are just having fun?" I was drunk, pleased, and agreed to shake my head, but I didn’t really understand anything. The next day I undertook to escort her to the house, at the door of which she had to dot the i. The little novel that I managed to invent in 24 hours crumbled, and my fleeting episode developed a defensive reaction for me in the years ahead: people who did not reciprocate, ceased to interest me. This, of course, is a separate topic, but in this case the summary is simple: the boys endure the end of a relationship no less painful than the girls.
A case of horror is known - when a young man abandoned by a girl got a Facebook account
With age it did not become easier - on the contrary. My last parting lasted exactly a year. A friend called right on her birthday and said: "We need to relax from each other," and I realized that it was all over. It used to be different: fights, quarrels, scandals, tantrums and even stabbing (disclaimer: I did not hold the knife). And then - "break". Which, however, resulted in the year of the removal of the brain. Residual attraction was mutual, but the complaints were mostly to me - you see, I did not give the impression of an unhappy person. I was thrown, and instead of buying soap with a rope, I went to celebrate my birthday (after which I went quietly to stand as an observer at the presidential election). Then he went to Berlin. Then to the wedding of the best friend in Cyprus. And everywhere he was having fun till you drop, followed by reflection in social networks. However, that I am all about myself yes about myself. A case of horror is known - when a young man abandoned by a girl got himself a Facebook account.
The behavior of abandoned guys is really different from the female, only it is not characterized by the word "easier". What makes a girl break up with a young man? She is sad, convenes her closest friends, travels to her mother, drinks a couple of glasses of red, falls into a domestic depression - in short, behaves like a normal person. What does a man do in this case? It would be a big mistake to think that he goes to drink beer with friends (he does it without dramatic reasons). Oh no. In a man, such an event triggers such a set of experiences that he himself can hardly explain. But I'll try.
The world in which we live, orders to leave all snot to women. A man should be strong, and his whining is not interesting to anyone. Nevertheless, a man is also a man, and one cannot get away from experiences. Under the weight of public pressure, he is forced to desperately sublimate all this emotional crap. Where you honestly confess to your friends that you are unhappy, he will go and fill the face with another man. Where you cry, he will drag the first comer into bed, in order to remind himself that the reason for the break is not his sexual unattractiveness or failure. Where you figure out that you may need to change something in yourself, he will build a whole chain of illogical actions, because the problem may lie in anything or anyone, but not in it.
I managed to start and quit full-fledged work, get into the hospital with a fractured head and move several times.
For a whole year my behavior did not follow any logic. I managed to start and quit full-fledged work, get into the hospital with a fractured head, move several times, fall in love with the Manic Street Preachers group and, like in a cheap romcom, meet love exactly on the next birthday. With all my frankness, thanks to which you already know more about me than you need, I did not load a new girlfriend with dramatic stories about the year of experiences. But yesterday I went to the concert of the beloved musician of the former girlfriend Sebastian Tellier, only to avenge how loudly she screamed about attending the performance !!!, which were always "mine". Then he sent the former postcard: they say, so and so, dear, thanks for everything, but now - exactly the end. And do not ask why I did it - the ways of an abandoned man are inscrutable.
ILLUSTRATIONS: Masha Shishova