Zlata Nikolaev on the inability to come first
A year ago I interviewed the creator of Badoo, a geolocation dating application that allows you to find people who want to talk nearby. "Look, here you go to the club and want to meet someone. Or you like the guy you see in the cafe next to the office, he obviously works nearby, but not everyone can come up and speak, people are embarrassed. And then you see him in the application - and this is a green light, you can write and meet, "- he explained.
"Wait," I interrupted, "that is, embarrassment prevents people from approaching and meeting people, and writing is easier than ever?" It is clear that it is difficult both, and if in real life you can at least try to accidentally knock over coffee or ask for a lighter, then a written message will clearly indicate interest. Yes, and on the dating site.
It is believed that only perverts and deeply desperate people in their loneliness sit on dating sites. And this is the case when the common myth seems to be true - in any case, in relation to Moscow and my peers. His desire to start a family, to find a girl or a young man, to go on a date, which - if lucky - may end in sex, is, after all, taken to be hidden.
A friend of mine once told me about his student youth and his way of attracting the attention of girls at parties. In a situation where there are a lot of people in one room, alcohol and talk and more or less everyone who has not yet broken up into couples wants to live and love, it’s best to pretend that you are a stranger on this holiday. Sit on a chair in the corner, and it is better - in the center of the room, keep quiet with a thoughtful look, do not try to communicate and, most importantly, do not show interest in girls. Then they are guaranteed - "And who is this we have so mysterious?" - fit yourself. This, of course, is a radical method (and there is a risk, after all, to expose oneself as a complete idiot), and most of my lonely acquaintances choose an intermediate option.
On the Internet, they meet on Facebook and VKontakte, originally for the dating not in any way sharpened. They communicate on abstract topics with friends of their acquaintances (“So often I see you in the comments of colleagues, let's be friends already!”), Joke, discuss news, put likes on photos that are well-involved in the agenda. If they really bold - they write compliments and call to meet, but only if there is a formal reason or "let's have a drink sometime," but without "I like you."
It is believed that on dating sites sit only perverts and deeply desperate people in their loneliness.
And if they do meet, they are guaranteed to get drunk trying to overcome their embarrassment, and maybe even go "to you or to me?", And fall asleep on the road, and there will be nothing or something that will please you. relatively. Then there will be morning again filled with confusion: where are my contact lenses, make you coffee or leave so that it was yesterday, and whether there was something, put on pants or take off the cross, but by the way, we still removed the cross yesterday, it interfered . And this is not the most ridiculous option - the script "Good morning, and who are you?" After going to the bars with friends, no one canceled.
So who's the perverts? People who hide behind shy “friendly” likes, witty comments (and we all periodically, when we write something to each other, mean not a topic of conversation, but “Look how cool I am!”) And are embarrassed to talk openly about their desires, and languages and hands dissolve only under the influence of alcohol? Or those who write down their “without wc”, “with chyu” and “Wishlist” (I want to go on a date, looking for a girl for a serious relationship) on dating sites? I want to stroke the heads of those and others (and that someone stroked me on the head, by itself).
Script "Good morning, and who are you?" after going to the bars nobody canceled
I do not know how such a closeness is a Russian or even Moscow trait. But here’s a fact: among the users of the very same Badoo, I’m not sure, I’m going to make a reservation, we have the most popular, in the capital the most pleasant ones (not the ones that hang out their bath photos with a naked torso) are expats. They do not hesitate to say "I like your photos", that they are just bored, they have not seen their girlfriend for four months and want to spend the evening in a pleasant company. It is desirable with the continuation.
This is not a call to all urgently register on dating sites - most likely, you will forget the passwords from their profiles after playing a week. And the t-shirt "Smile at me if you want me" is not necessary to wear - everyone will smile, but not for this reason. But there is an opinion that all silent and shy individuals should speak more clearly about their desires. To overpower yourself - well, you are not 15 years old and you are not at a school disco - and go to that guy in the cafe at work. Call the girl friend of your acquaintances to go for a walk. Do not stick in the iPhone - to hell, to hell with these geolocation dating applications. Not the fact that something will turn out - but so honest. Alcohol can not refuse - just postpone until later.
Illustrations: Masha Shishova