"I think well done": Women and men about New Year promises
Christmas promises - a useful tradition. For many, the date itself helps to reconsider their lives and decide on changes. True, more often good intentions end in nothing: according to research, only 8% of people succeed in achieving the goals set in the new year - and about 80% surrender by mid-February. We talked with several people who set different tasks for themselves in 2017 - from half a marathon to traveling and learning new languages - about whether it was possible to do it or not, and what prevented it.
If you leave aside business goals (which I set annually and strictly fulfill), I set personal goals once every couple of years. I do this when some kind of need presses, to endure their inaction is no longer strength, and therefore you have to resort to magical and ritual ways to solve the problem. For 2017, I made a promise to myself on January sixth - with a hangover, of course. I bequeathed not to drink alcohol at all, not to smoke, to meditate every day, to play sports two or three times a week - in general, classic healthy lifestyles and hygiene. As a result, I didn’t drink (and I feel great), didn’t smoke 90% of the time (I broke off for several times), meditated 60% of the days (which is good too), 70% of the time went to the box with the necessary frequency To do yoga. I think well done.
Why am I not lost? First, I wrote everything on a piece of paper with a pen and periodically reread it - as self-hypnosis. Secondly, somewhere close to March, my friend found out about the absence of alcohol and further argued with me for a large sum - and additional motivation appeared. Thirdly, the main thing is to hold on for the first month or two on pure willpower, and then everything promised becomes natural, and no more efforts are needed. Well, you feel really much better and fresher.
I have not yet thought about promises for the next year, since there is no great need inside - on a healthy lifestyle is good. But the practice of goal-setting in general is very life-giving and useful, so, probably, I'll think of something.
I have set myself goals for three years in a row: during this time I have tried many different methods and as a result, it seems I have come to the optimum. In 2017, for personal planning, I used the OKR (Objectives and Key Results) framework, which is used for organizing goals in large companies: if you do not go into details, it consists in setting large tasks (Objectives) and identifying smaller ones within them - measurable result (Key results).
I start with a cheat sheet about areas of life in which I want to change something: first of all, this is work and common development, mental and physical. At the same time, I am convinced that it is impossible to plan everything, so I never set myself goals related, for example, to my personal life: family and friends. Then I look at the cheat sheet and write out all the great desires in the mentioned areas (they usually take much more than a year), and for each of them I prescribe several small steps - they become my "key results". Such an exercise helps just to not forget about the very large-scale to which you want to move, and to watch yourself. For example, I have a goal: to visit all countries of the world. The key results in 2017 were, firstly, new countries and cities, and secondly, getting a driver's license - in some places I want to travel by car.
All five goals set this year remained relevant; I decided to postpone one of them in connection with the new work. Of the key results (of which there were only fourteen), I completed six, two more lost their meaning, and six more I did not fully complete. I believe that this is a normal result, because in half of the failures I didn’t clearly define the criteria for achieving the goal, and in other cases I tried to keep up with all the hares at the same time. Next year I am going to plan less, just to have time to enjoy both the process itself and life surprises.
Before, I often gave myself New Year promises. 2017 was no exception, but this time I told myself that I had to do it no matter what happened. My New Year's promise was to run a half marathon. I understood that I wanted to change something in life, and decided that the half marathon is the most it.
Conceived managed to perform only at the end of the year. I was planning to run a half marathon in the fall, but I just overslept - of course, I was out of a rut. Two months later, I saw an announcement that there would again be a half marathon in my city, and decided that this was my chance. I am engaged in orienteering, but one such preparation would not help to run more than twenty kilometers. So I checked in, entered the running club and started to get ready - I ran five to seven kilometers.
Last week we ran a distance - I have been happy for almost a week now. Next year I will set goals again: if you really want to fulfill the New Year's promise, then nothing will prevent you.
Never treated New Year's promises too seriously. This is not a checklist, in which it is necessary to tick off, but a good opportunity to stop for a second and set ambitious goals for the next year - not very serious ones.
I usually started thinking about such promises at about 11:54 p.m. December 23, but last year I took part in a flash mob and shared my plans for the first time - so now I don’t get away from the debriefing. I promised myself to write even more texts (the goal is fulfilled and exceeded, we continue), set a record for the number of film views (alas, this task is exactly postponed to the 2018th), discover new countries (Georgia is super), learn cool things (I think a couple of clumsy dives with flips after a month of training are considered), do not slow down (I will not complain) and regularly push in (complete failure).
It was not possible to fulfill everything, but this is a good opportunity to continue next year - especially since most of the plans can be safely considered universal. So I wish myself and everyone around me not to stop - on all fronts. Well, it is necessary to engage in sports, yes.
From childhood I was taught that the New Year is a holiday and magic. In Santa Claus, I no longer believe in it, but in a certain magical line - one hundred percent. Therefore, closer to the thirty-first number, I give myself a promise, which from the very beginning is a hoax - I am sure that I will never fulfill it. Usually it is something like “quit smoking”, “start going to the gym”. From the original - last year I wished that I would be less emotional and less believe in people.
You forget about the promise at about the first minute after midnight on the first of January, and you remember it at the end of December. This year was no exception, but there is one thing - I quit smoking (okay, quit). Soothing, prescribed by a doctor, help with emotionality, but with a gymnasium a full tube - complete in every sense.
In general, I think that giving yourself promises before the New Year and forgetting about them is great. On the one hand, you sort of bring the line and think about what you would like to improve in yourself, on the other hand, magic turns on, and you hope that everything will happen by itself.
I began to give myself New Year promises from the age of sixteen. At first they were naive and connected with appearance, but over time they became more serious - and their implementation helped to climb the career ladder. It happened this year.
I work in a government organization, but is closely related to culture, especially ballet. Last year, there was an opportunity to go to Japan for "Russian Seasons" and, possibly, to stay there - but for this you need to know the language for free business communication. Encouraged by the prospect, I made a promise to learn it — I started buying textbooks and looking for a teacher. During the year I cursed this idea a hundred times (the language is very complicated), but the support of my relatives and the teacher gave me strength.
The exam hour was approaching - and at the same time there was a festival, where ballet dancers from all over the world gather. As a standard, I performed all five performances with a full house, standing ovations and huge bouquets from the artists themselves in gratitude - and also met the artist of La Scala Theater in Italy. He is a resident of Riga, and there was no language barrier - and a similar mentality helped us make friends during the preparation for the festival.
Two weeks before the exam, my new acquaintance wrote me many questions about Italy and eventually admitted that he told the theater's advertising department about me and called me to work in the theater. I don’t know why, but I immediately agreed: in Japan, I didn’t have anyone at all, and I was a sociable person. In general, I now use Japanese to read books on the art of ancient Japan and diligently study Italian already - I plan to move to September.
I don’t really like New Year promises, because I don’t believe that change starts on a Monday or a round date: it seems to me that it’s much more difficult (and more important) to start working on yourself here and now. Nevertheless, at the beginning of this year I decided to try and set an innocuous goal - to read more. In my childhood and student life I read a lot, but when I got older, everything got seriously worse. In January, I chose a modest number in the Goodreads target list — so that I could linger if I get a thick volume.
Naturally, I failed the task almost immediately. At first, "Little Life" devastated me, so I needed time to recover and gain strength for further reading. Then I began to prepare for the defense of my Ph.D. thesis in parallel with the work, because of the collection of documents and the endless trips around the city in the evenings, I had only to lie on the couch and look through the instagram. When things ended, it became easier, but I still found that I read more slowly than I would like: I choose large and "difficult" books and prefer English, for which I need more time.
However, I think it was a rewarding experience. There is nothing wrong with reading at your own pace - and slowly, if the book is not as interesting as we would like. I realized that everyone has the right not to read, if there are no forces for that - in the end, this should be a pleasure, not a duty.
Photo: Amazon, lateci - stock.adobe.com, pixelrobot - stock.adobe.com