How to start a new life in the new year
Text: Olga Miloradova
On the eve of the new year besides all the merry plans and celebrations often overwhelm us with conflicting thoughts: summing up, lists of achievements - this is all that your Facebook and Twitter feeds will inevitably fill up now. And, of course, someone is happy and maybe even proud of the past year, but still the beginning of the year is like Monday Mondays. It seems to be from it that it is possible and necessary to start everything, to which the hands have not yet reached, because either now, or, as it were, on Tuesday nothing will happen exactly.
Despite the fact that everyone has enough thoughts and dissatisfaction in order to change something, it is not enough to decide in an abstract way that you don’t like something: you need to formulate specifically what you want. By itself, a good statement of purpose is already part of the solution. For example, the thought "I hate my job" is unproductive. It is much better to reformulate it in “I want to find a new job”, and even better to understand which one. Especially if you want to change not only the place, but also the type of activity.
There is such a part of responsibility for the future that we get, that we get what we deserve. From the point of view of karma, universal justice - anything. But from the point of view of psychology, we get what we think we deserve, because this is what we expect. That is, the idea is largely material. Of course, this does not mean that if you meditate on the phrase "I am a great mathematician," then tomorrow you will go and get a job teaching in Baumanka. I, rather, about things that are in principle subjective.
For example, beauty or self-confidence. Surely you ever come across a very beautiful, successful, educated or extremely intelligent girl whose partner does not appreciate her or does not match her level. And believe me, she often endures it not at all because of a lot of love. Very often, we are grounded in the conviction that we are unworthy of something bigger and better - as a result, we are not only unhappy, but also unable to reach our full potential. Not to mention how many women all over the world and in a single Russia do much more work than their male counterparts, and at the same time do not risk giving a hint about a salary increase.
Any undertaking is not always one hundred percent success, but adventure and new experience.
So, let's say you are repelled by a vague dissatisfaction with your life, you feel that it is time to change something, but the answer is, what exactly does not lie on the surface. Try to look at things and the little things that bring you joy in everyday life. Try to discuss this topic with your parents or friends, or someone else who knows you well. Or maybe, by the way, it’s not very good, but it can take a fresh look at your situation and throw an idea. Maybe this someone will confirm your vague suspicions that you are a born dog breeder, although you work as a marketer. Or is it exactly the opposite. But here it is important to distinguish your feelings from the opinions of others and not allow yourself to go on about the relatives or distant people, if their advice you do not like.
It would be useful to ask yourself a number of specific questions. By the way, I recommend answering them in writing - so you can think more deeply about the problem. In addition, you can not even imagine what traps consciousness can set for us, especially memory. Therefore, it is so useful to keep diaries and be able to re-read their thoughts and ideas at different points in life. So the questions.
What is happening in your life at the moment? What exactly do you want? And for whom do you want it? For myself? For mom and dad? For the supervisor? How do you know if you have achieved what you want? What will you feel, hear, see? What does this achievement give you or what will it do? Have you done something like this before or achieved it? What is the underlying goal behind your goal or desire? Could there be a double bottom? When you achieve this - in your opinion, will it be an achievement or will you suffer any losses? And what will happen if this change does not take place at all, how significant is it? What will happen or what will not happen when it is conceived?
Many of the questions may seem naive or meaningless, until you begin to answer them seriously. In addition, these are just examples. Modify them to your situation, improvise. And remember that in spite of the fact that any undertaking is not always an absolute success, but this is an absolute adventure, new impressions and experience. And yes, you can come to the decision that you are well where you are. But then you will come to him consciously.