Culturologist Sophia Dzhungshin An on racism and favorite cosmetics
Under the heading "Cosmetic" we study the contents of beauty cases, dressing tables and cosmetic bags of interesting characters to us - and we show all this to you.
Photo: Ekaterina Starostina Interview: Margarita Virova
Sofya Dzhunshin An
cultural studies and make-up enthusiast
Beauty and mind do not contradict each other, and the fear of the opinions of others must be left at school.
About feeling like
I grew up in almost Spartan conditions: two brothers (older and younger), a temple every Sunday, a swimming pool, a music school and a strict biochemical lyceum. All these factors have fastened me so much that it was wildly uncomfortable for me to even apply lip balm in plain sight.
My internal tension was aggravated by the fact that men in the subway were often molested to me. I thought that I myself was to blame for this, and tried not to look people in the eyes and not to be beautiful so as not to attract attention once again. By the end of school, my consciousness seemed to have doubled: on the one hand, I believed that only "stupid" and "self-doubtful" women were painted, on the other - I definitely felt that this attitude was external to me in fact, I myself want both to be beautiful and to wear short skirts without any fear or sense of shame. The university and the change of environment helped me to understand all this. Now I have the best friends and girlfriends in the world who will never make fun of my love for pink or engage in victim-labeling.
About make-up
I hardly painted at school. Due to the fact that I studied rather badly, it seemed to me insane to give teachers one more reason to see in me a “frivolous dumb” who instead of lessons makes a manicure. It lasted for a long time, until I realized that beauty and mind do not contradict each other, and the fear of the opinions of others must be left at school. After all, who, if not me, will live my life exactly the way I want it?
I do not use the tonal framework - I just do not see the point in it for myself. I used to think that you can apply red lipstick only if the skin is in a “perfect” condition, but now I understand that this is certainly not the case - otherwise I would think about lips two or three times a year. Even for the brightest makeup I do not like to adjust the complexion. I like the feeling that pink eyelids or purple lips are the same real parts of me, like inflammations or dark circles under my eyes. As if this is not make, but the natural properties of my face.
Most of the time, I apply creamy shades right up to my eyebrows and apply lipstick, slightly going beyond the lip contour. When I have strength and inspiration, I like to draw arrows in the style of "negative space" or glue pearls and stars on my face.
About looks and making "others"
At twenty years old, I can definitely say that Russia is not the best country for a multiracial person. I think I have already faced all kinds of hatred: homophobia, transphobia, racism, and so on. For a long time I didn’t understand what to do with it and why it all happens with me. For most, I look so incomprehensible that I am often attacked, especially when I wear bright or complex makeup: people, most often men, think that I am gay. Migrants from Central Asia, on the contrary, stick, harass, persecute - they say that they like my “eastern” appearance very much. When I found out about "people of various multiracial backgrounds", everything fell into place. I am no longer angered by questions of who I am by nationality, and I do not worry that I am "not Korean enough" or "not Jewish enough." I am both, I do not divide into parts and do not change for the sake of others, and it would be time for people in Russia to understand this.
My mother, who strongly supports me, could not stand it at some point. After another story, I was attacked by a man on the subway, she said she would wear my bracelet from the Berlin Pride to accustom the Muscovites to the existence of queer persons. It is made in the colors of the Israeli flag with the rainbow stars of David. The incredible support of loved ones, and especially mothers, is one of the main reasons why I still remain myself and believe that everything is fine with me, that I am the smartest and most beautiful.
Now my every journey on the subway turns into a political gesture. With a steel face, I show people that there are different faces and nationalities, genders and builds. I like to play on a combination of feminine elements and something that doesn’t "have to" be combined with this femininity. My friend Pasha calls it aesthetic terrorism.
