Why Russian TV series about women's treason hit the mark

Judging by the novelties of the Russian TV channels, Our show-runners felt for a new, adequate to the spirit of the times and rating topic - it was women's infidelity, polygamous and polyamory. The series "Treason" that thundered in the fall about designer Asa, who has three lovers besides her husband, ended a month ago, but outlined the problem more than. A new batch of oil to the fire should be added to the TV show “Double Solid” about a woman living in two families (it started yesterday on Domashny TV channel), and the comedy series TNT “Concerned, or Love of Evil,” in which girls also do not deny themselves right to sexual freedom.

The idea that both men and women can alter equally (moreover, consciously and from different motives) clearly fell into a sore point. The reaction to the character and actions of the main character, “Change,” is a great example of how pop culture starts an important conversation. In this case, about gender stereotypes and what is "allowed" to a man and "not allowed" to a woman. “To sleep with the left heifer is one thing, to try to marry a woman who is being fucked by several men at the same time is the height of idiocy” and “A woman who jumps up and tries to build a man out of herself” - such comments after watching the show were left by the television of both sexes. And of course, from the depths of the collective unconscious flowed the argument that male adultery is “just sex”, and female is always a betrayal and an extreme degree of human shamelessness, therefore you cannot put these two phenomena in one row.

We talked to the screenwriters "Treason", "Double Solid" and "Concerned" about how with their help teleheroini began to take their personal lives in their own hands, what it says and why the cheating husbands always looked on the screen in the order of things. They also asked specialists in the field of psychology, sociology and gender to comment on the problem.

In Russia, marriage is something that happens behind closed doors. Honestly telling what is happening there is not accepted. Familiar men said to me: "Well, how can you choose such a heroine, it's terrible and immoral." In this case, the story of a man who has three, four or, I do not know, six women, will not even be in the series. This will be some fifth characterization of the character: let's say he is successful, talented, rich, and by the way, he has a lot of women. In the case of "Betrayals," I also did not want to make this the first characterization of the heroine - you first need to figure out what she is, and only then to figure out who she is sleeping with. But no, the audience is important, she is a whore - that's all. I even heard that this is a story about the "adventures of the vagina."

In my opinion, women's treason always has deeper reasons. I don’t know a single woman (and haven’t even heard of a single woman) who would say: "Oh, well, I changed it just because it happened." The position “Asya was resentful of her husband for having changed her himself many years ago, and now she, through his betrayals, as if he was taking revenge on him” is a rectification. In fact, Asya, of course, forgave her husband long ago, otherwise she would simply not marry him and have not lived with him for so many years. But we are not a book in which - once! - and began a new page. Yes, she forgave him, but the further marriage was still unsuccessful for various reasons. I do not think that Asya enters throughout the series cleverly. No, she behaves very stupidly - exactly the same as most people, no matter if they are smart or not. It's just that life is more complicated than the scheme "I was changed fourteen years ago, so now I will change everything too."

In the case of Asya, adultery is one of the symptoms of a whole complex of problems. I tried to not have sex for sex. The position of her husband, Cyril, who changed, because "he took what was badly lying" ... I made sure that women did not do that. For some, a woman who sleeps in a car on a country road with a first man is prostitution. For me, this is a sign of big psychological problems. And Asya takes a step out of these problems into a scheme that is comfortable for her, which will work for at least some time. Nobody says that Asya will marry the man with whom she remained in the end, and will live with him until the end of his life. It’s just that after all that happened, after all that he learned about her, he showed simple human kindness to her. This is a metaphor for the chance of any of us. Whatever you do and no matter how you behave, a person can always come and ask: "Do you want candy?" And then everything is in your hands. Maybe you spoil it. Or maybe not.

The whole horror is that people would, in general, not against such a series, if it would have ended otherwise. They needed a specific message: "If you act like her, they will kill you, they will all abandon you, you will be alone in the garbage." Even the creators of the series wanted it. Both the producer and the director suggested that I end the series with the fact that all Asya was abandoned, abandoned her, and she went into a new life by herself. Simply, they are also men, and they also believed that it would be better to punish Asya. No, they understood everything, they realized how difficult things are. But the first thing they said to me: "She must be punished, because adultery is bad."

"Betrayal" shocked the audience so much, because echoes of Christian culture still speak in us, which fosters the need for a feminine pure, motherly image of the hearthard. And it is clear that in this patriarchal system of coordinates, female treason will be viewed as something shocking. But both in women's treason and in men's work the same mechanism works: "I need to feel full-fledged by adoration, by physical attractiveness." I would say that the three lovers in the series - this is the size of self-doubt. Maybe the consequences of some serious childhood or adolescent injury. Because you need a very specific way to raise a child, if he then needed three lovers to feel good.

In the case of adultery, you can never say that one of the partners is to blame. Here you can only talk about a mature or immature relationship to each other and to marriage. From the point of view of immature women and men, marriage is a game. For example, the eternal story, when men tell their mistresses: “I don’t love my wife and live with her for the sake of children” - this is actually a completely immature story. An adult will not be where he sees no reason to be. We are complex enough to want not just intercourse, but something else from relationships in this life. And splitting means intentionally remaining a teenager who tastes life, and he has everything ahead. But when this teenager is married or married and, say, forty years old, it is sad.

Treason, like many other things, is initially connected with parents, with family, with upbringing. In Russia, it is generally difficult to transfer the experience of relations to the next generation, because the institution of marriage in the early twentieth century was severely traumatized. With successful hands, the desire to be loved and adored (without reference to the desire to love and adore someone else) gets in childhood, in the family - from mom and especially dad (in the case of girls for whom this is the first male image). And if the desire to constantly feel adoration and see his evidence, without giving anything in return, persists in adult life, then you need to do something about it, otherwise both men and women may be left alone with this teenage need.

To prevent this from happening, both parents should treat their masculine and feminine principles with respect, to each other as men and women, with respect and love, should not hide their feelings, you should even swear and put up with children. So a child from childhood realizes that mom and dad love each other, learns what is permissible and what is not. And various deviations: a complete rejection of the expression of feelings in a child, an insecure mother who unconsciously competes with her daughter, a father who lifts a hand on her mother or works forever and does not take part in parenting, or leaves her wife in a difficult situation and leaves, or does not accept growing up of a daughter and yelling at her for the fact that she put on a make-up "as a prostitute" - this will play a role in the future. And it can cause dissatisfaction with both themselves and other men.

At the heart of the script is the story of a woman who had two families and two civil husbands. Personally, it was interesting for me to conduct such a creative experiment, to imagine: is it possible that a woman will have two husbands? I even googled in the hope that there are any scandalous notes about such double-haired girls. Not found. But those who have lovers, perennial lovers, or those who have been in a relationship with two men for many years are many. It was difficult to write, I will honestly tell you. The hardest thing for me was to understand the main character. What is it like to love two and live two lives? Such experiments for the screenwriter usually do not end with anything good - this is a terrible effect on personal life.

With the second husband, the heroine gets what is received from the first, and vice versa. This is just a very classic story, because adultery is always a search for something that is not in your relationship. Our Anna simply could not lose the life that she already had with her first husband: a family, a shared past. But at the same time she was terribly lacking in lightness, joy, fun and, most importantly, faith in herself in this marriage. She internally shared for herself: in this family I will be a parent, and in this family I will be a wife.

Our society is still very patriarchal. It is still believed that a man needs sex more than a woman, that it is natural for a man to be a “walker” and that you need to forgive him for adultery. And the female nature, it is supposed, is different, and, accordingly, when a woman changes - she goes against her nature, moreover, against all family foundations and slaps them in the face. But I do not hold the view that men biologically need more sex or that they are polygamous by nature. In general, I believe that marriage is a cultural thing and, moreover, a contractual one. This is the level of above biological existence.

There is a generally accepted opinion that men treat sex easily and simply, exclusively as a physiological act. Therefore, male adultery is supposedly just physiology without emotional involvement. But men are not devoid of the feelings of a sex machine. There are always important internal problems that a man is trying to solve, using sex as a tool, they are often associated with topics of power and control. Women's treason is not different from the male in mechanics. Both women and men load sex with additional meanings depending on the characteristics of their upbringing, their sexual experience, their psychological characteristics and regardless of gender. But women's treason carries a much greater threat to traditional society.

For the traditional family to continue as it is being promoted, submission and obedience to the head of the family, a man, are required of the woman. Sexual treason is just one example of disobedience, it is a manifestation of one’s will and one’s desires. Again, this is not about sex in itself, but about power: who is in charge and who controls the sexuality of a woman. In a traditional family, the main man is a man, and it is he who decides who, with whom and when he has sex, the woman’s opinion is here again. That is why a changing woman is being branded a “whore”, a “prostitute”, by anyone - if women start to manage their sexuality themselves, the traditional model of the family will not survive.

The mechanics of treason are simple and, as a rule, tied to the fact that the existing relationship does not satisfy any of the human needs: in care, in attention, in an interesting person and so on. Treason is, in fact, an attempt to preserve the status quo, that is, to preserve relations, by adding the missing outside. In traditional society, it is generally accepted that a cheating man "gets" sex, and a cheating woman - love and attention. What are the clear images of a macho man who is interested only in sex, and the emotional side of human relationships for him is a dark forest, and a tender woman who needs sex not by himself, but only as an attachment to marriage with a caring and loving man and that it matters to him. In reality, there are different men and different women. The emotional side of relationships is important for people regardless of gender, as is sex. Men can change because they do not feel valued by their partners. Women can change because they want sexual diversity. What gets outside of a relationship does not depend on gender, but on what this particular person feels deprived of.

In "Concerned" there is a girl Alena - she is cheating on her boyfriend Sergei, who joined the army. Alena is simply looking for the best option for herself: in Seryozha she is not satisfied with his background, her modest salary and simplicity. He eventually finds out everything, but still forgives Alena - he is afraid that she will not find one more like this, “with tits and lips”. Alena is also afraid that she will not find anyone better - and to her Seryozha returns. He does not look at her as a woman who has betrayed him, with whom he will then have to live, it is too difficult for him. Seryozha thinks about boobs. She thinks that then they will have a child and Alena will sit with him at home, cook dinner and wash the floors.

No remorse of conscience Alena torment. This is such an approach to relationships, when a partner is chosen as a car, and only Alena adheres to this approach from all the heroines. For example, Sasha, the main character, is more romantic, for her love is magic, and to me personally her eyes are closer. But Alena is doing well too, because life is complicated and any theories, even contradictory ones, work in her. She does not leave Serezha because she is afraid of being left with nothing. It is difficult for women to break away from a man and go nowhere, and our Alena first wanted to prepare the ground. For Alena, having a man is a status. And then in the circles to which she is close, Seryozha is considered not too bad: he has an apartment, he serves in the Airborne Forces, he is handsome, he is engaged in something. But in general, the fact that a woman without a man feels inferior and rushes at everyone in a row is a problem. This view of things is gradually becoming a thing of the past, only by very slow steps. And female treason as such, in my opinion, is no different from male. If you change - it means that something in life does not suit you, but you are afraid to change it.

In Russian cinema there are not so many women's points of view, in particular, women's statements on the topic of family life. The betrayal of a wife is a symbol of the broken, unfulfilled life of a man (Leviathan, Geographer drank the globe). Either the woman changes, because she is in love, or in response to the betrayal and total disgusting of her husband. If you believe the male anthropology of the post-Soviet cinema (“In Motion”, “What Men Talk About,” “Radio Day”, “Thaw”), men are more likely to run into treason than actively seek them out. And they run not so much from the hateful wives, but from their own cynicism and disappointment. The provocativeness of such TV series as “The Treason” by screenwriter Daria Gracevich or Valerie Guy Germanika’s “Short Course of Happy Life” is not about the fact that women change, but the authors give their heroines the right to a middle age crisis, skepticism and sober assessment of your life. Women do not "calm down" after the wedding and the birth of a child; they do not live "from love to love": they also suffer from melancholy, routine and lack of realization, just like men.

This is not to say that in Russia, men's treason lies outside the focus of moral attention. It is enough to read the sites of psychologists and Orthodox forums - adultery consistently ranks first among the voiced reasons for divorce, and women become the initiators of divorce more often. But in general, the sexual behavior of women is regulated more strictly than men. This applies to premarital life with its double standards in terms of the number of partners, and the perpetual attacks on reproductive rights, and the accusations of victims in cases of rape.

The structure of marriage itself rests on the relations of heritage and the right of ownership. The patriarchal family throughout almost all European history was the property of the man. Of course, she assumes double standards for spouses: a woman lives in a monogamous marriage, and a man lives in "heterism", that is, she owns a family and freely changes partners outside the family. Women's treason is criminal because it encroaches on two men's rights: to be considered a father and not worry about legacy; to act as the only possible active subject. It is customary to give "natural" explanations of this historical situation.

Now there are all sorts of quasi-Darwinian arguments about "polygamous males" and "monogamous females". But in the Middle Ages, for example, female sexuality was strictly controlled precisely because of the allegedly insatiable appetite and the natural promiscuity of women. Marxists and radical feminists saw the problem in the structure of such a family and the “psyche of power” rooted in it, when a man as the owner of children and wife was forced to cling to the status of “head” and the house into the space of oppression, underground struggle and lies.

Photo: TNT (1,2), Studio 2B