“My Epic Fail”: Different people about what failure taught them

Motivational trainings are taughthow to “take the road of success” and follow it to the end. However, that on the road there may be obstacles, conditions change, and old goals - and completely go to the background, are usually silent. When the situation is not as we would like, we are used to encouraging ourselves with platitudes like "The Strongest Wins" or "Just do it". But in fact, not everything depends on us, but periodic defeats are an inevitable and even important part of the work process. Different people told us about their failures and what they led to.

Interview: Irina Kuzmicheva

Vita

A year ago, I decided to change jobs. I spent three or four months on interviews, until I got a PR manager in an excellent agency. A beautiful spacious office in the center of Moscow, official registration from the first day and, as the young CEO said, “prospects and progress will not keep you waiting.”

On the very first day I was given customer phone numbers, and then I had to rake it myself. Promotion plans, content plans, filming and organizing events - a month has passed, and the time has come for the first paycheck. But I was “fed breakfast” for several days, and after much persuasion and requests, I was given a fifth of the amount, promising to give money in two months next month, before the New Year. But in December, not all the money was issued again, and also in the envelope.

Probably, then it was necessary to leave. Moreover, I work not only for the sake of self-realization: I have no sponsors in the person of my husband or parents, but I have a child and a rented apartment. But by this time I became friends with my colleagues and the director, who gave the impression of a pleasant and nice person. I trusted her and decided to wait - besides, she raised me to the executive director.

After the Christmas holidays, we moved to a new office, as the owners could no longer afford to rent the previous one. There was one more news - four clients left the agency, only one remained, on which we pinned all hopes. But he delayed the payment, the money stuck on the company's account, and then the account was completely arrested for tax debts. And, of course, I did not receive a salary for three months of work - two hundred thousand rubles. It turned out that I was never formalized - therefore, apart from the contract for the provision of services, I did not have anything, I could not achieve payment. And she decided to leave.

For me, it was the bottom to which I dragged my small family with me. At thirty years old, I was unable to soberly assess the situation, pulled four months in the hope that everything would be fine. For the first time, the feeling of self-preservation did not work for me, although for me, as the mother of a small child, it is simply not permissible to err so. Now I understand that you never need to rely on someone other than yourself - and it is also important to soberly assess the situation.

I reproached myself very much for everything that happened, then I gathered all my strength into a fist and began to solve the accumulated problems. On an emergency basis, I began to look for another job — I wanted not just to perekantovatsya somewhere, but to solidify myself thoroughly and for a long time. But I have a child and a rented apartment, the deposit for which I had already spent, was simply not enough to travel. And I went to the forced step - I decided to earn a hostess in the evenings. She came to the interview, it turned out to be a strip club - they needed a hostess with a schedule from nine in the evening to six in the morning. For the shift paid two thousand rubles. There was nowhere to go, and I went, although now this idea does not seem successful to me.

On the first working day, more precisely the night, I met with colleagues who I really did not like. It was very hard not to sleep at night. The only thing I was lucky at last with was not having contact with the guests: they simply were not there. After the first pair of shifts my birthday and a new interview came - I was recruited to a dream by a large consulting company. Now I work there, which I am very happy about: I have interesting projects, new contacts, my superiors and clients treat me very well, and give me my salary on time.

Nothing comes easy to me. But now I am firmly on my feet and confident in the future. If you suddenly have to look for a new business, I am sure that with my “armor” and experience I will find in a short time a job that deserves me.

Katya

Since childhood, I was interested in natural sciences, and after school I entered the university at the Faculty of Chemistry. It seemed to me that it was not enough just to attend classes, and I asked to study science with our teacher. A team of teachers, graduate students and masters took me - we spent holidays and other events together. Later, I began to meet with a young teacher from this company, he never taught anything at our course.

When classmates realized that I was communicating too closely with the teachers, they immediately started explaining all my achievements with this. With my success in science and study, some teachers from the general company could not accept it either. They began to tease me. The supervisor found fault with every detail. It was useless to complain to the guy: he said that he did not want to spoil relations with his colleagues and that if I did not know how to work in a team, I had to leave. Perhaps I really should have done it - but I loved science so much that for the sake of working in the laboratory I was ready to endure a lot.

Then I won a scholarship and went on an internship in Europe. Everything was wonderful there, but when I returned to Russia, hell began. My classmates didn't notice me. The teachers did not believe that I was abroad - allegedly I was simply skipping, nobody looked at official documents. They began to underestimate the marks, I constantly felt the pressure and blame for my success. To smooth the situation, I had to become a gray mouse.

The closer to protection, the more rude the supervisor is to me. Because of the stress, my hair began to fall apart, my temperature was high for a month, conjunctivitis and herpes were present. I did not want to walk, eat, even bathe - there was no strength for anything. The guy just wanted to know when we get married and have children. When, finally, I received a diploma, I broke up with him and wanted to get it over with as soon as possible. I had plans to defend my master's and PhD's, but after that I would not do anything else again.

Sometimes I miss the lab and regret that everything turned out that way. Perhaps, if I immediately behaved differently with teachers and classmates, did not treat myself so disrespectfully, everything could be different. But I was sure that since I have a partner, he should stand up for me, and if I do this, everyone will think that he is a rag. The fact that such thoughts should be immediately driven, I realized late.

I began to look for a job, but it was also a fiasco. I was faced with reality: girls in science are not welcome. Got something? Not exactly. It never occurred to me to look into the labor code and defend my rights. And, probably, I stopped looking for a place too early.

This situation taught me harshness, if not cruelty. No one can be trusted, you want to do something - do it yourself. I decided to start a new life and start a blog in an instagram about chemistry in cosmetics. It is very interesting, but in three months I did not earn a penny, but only spent five thousand on advertising. At first I didn’t think of combining “normal” work with blogging, but now I don’t see any other options. And mom already says that I have been sitting at home all day and not working, although writing posts and courses is the same job. So, Pyaterochka, wait.

Arina

Since childhood, I was an energetic child, so my parents sent me to all sorts of circles. In the end, I successfully graduated from the actor's department. I was still interested in everything (except, actually, the acting profession), but outweighed interest in the sport, and I decided to become a stuntman.

I began to prepare to watch the team. I decided to follow the path of Jason Statemah - I began to work hard in diving. At the end of the training we, having worked out the technique of jumping from three meters, ran to a ten-meter tower to get used to the height. Landing had to be elementary - "soldier". But that day I either didn’t have enough attention, or I was too tired, but I jumped inaccurately. The hand moved a few centimeters from the hull and turned very unsuccessfully when it landed. Somehow emerging up to the surface, I felt the muscles on my back unpleasantly and incorrectly contract.

I was also unlucky with hospitals. One was advised to wear the collar of the Shantz and said that "everything will pass by itself." In the other, blockades were made (painkiller injections. - Note ed.), to somehow relieve the pain, and I was able to sleep: by that time I could neither sit down nor lie down for three days, my hand hung with a whip, the entire right side of my body was numb. In the third, they suggested changing the disk in the neck, but it was very expensive.

By inertia, I continued to work in the theater. Sergey Barkovsky also worked there - having heard my story, he suggested that I turn to his osteopath. He cured me (osteopathy is a legal medical specialty in Russia, but the research base available is not enough to consider it to be consistent with the principles of evidence-based medicine. - Note ed.). Helped to walk straight, followed me for five years. As soon as I recovered, as far as possible, I began to return to the sport. First, Pilates, then yoga, then I was able to master the more serious loads on the crossfit. Not without injuries, of course, and not without frustration and anger at yourself. It is doubly insulting that my carelessness is to blame.

Along with physical recovery, I realized that I have something to share with others. I learned to coach and continue to learn new disciplines and directions. The trauma not only allowed me to help many people, but also led me to a profession in which I was finally interested.

Misha

My epic fail occurred when I got a job in a large company. When signing the employment contract, I was also given to sign a non-disclosure agreement. Running my eyes over this piece of paper, I safely forgot about its content and started working duties.

The company was successful and fast-growing. I was pleasantly surprised and pleased with many things, and I willingly told my acquaintances about it - right from the working computer. Pretending to be in front of a new acquaintance, I told her about the company's average monthly turnover. After a couple of weeks, I learned that a longtime friend with whom I had not communicated for several years was working with a competitor. He told me some secrets of that company, and I told him ours. I did all this with absolutely no ulterior motive and did not recall the good phrase “Money loves silence”.

Well, the cherry on the cake. At the party, I met a journalist who made economic investigations for the newspaper. We agreed with her how to drink coffee together, and I did not plan to tell where I worked. But since my email was viewed by security managers (which I, of course, did not know about), they decided to hedge themselves and restrict my access to confidential information. In general, I did not pass the trial period. And it took me about a year to understand what the reason was. The office was obsessed with conspiracy, but I did not even think that my correspondence could and will be read. At first I was upset, but now I am even glad that this happened. After the dismissal, I quickly got a new job.

This incident taught me to be more attentive to secrets, especially when they concern money. And, of course, carefully read what you subscribe to.

Anna

My journalistic career was just beginning, and I was ready to work everywhere, in large quantities and for little money. I was taken to a news radio station. I worked only a few days, almost each of which began with a fire: we learned that the house was burning somewhere, and drove to the scene. So I went to the burning tire - there was a lot of acrid smoke. I went on the air, squatting in the corner, my head was spinning terribly. After that, I wanted to drink milk, cough and wash. But it was necessary to rush to the other end of the city: a man with a grenade threatened to undermine everything to hell near the MFC. He is the head of a large family, and they have not issued a manual. On the spot, I had to take a comment from his wife - she was sitting in the ambulance and was shaking with sobs. I did not dare to take a comment from her - I spoke some obvious things on the air.

A couple of minutes after that, I received a message from the editor: “You need to work a lot more, but we don’t have time for that. So thank you for trying. When you learn to work, come.” As if you can learn to break into an ambulance somewhere! So ended my career as a news reporter. It was a failure from failures.

A few years later, my career still developed, but in a different direction of journalism. And now I myself had to work with new employees. More than once I was convinced that there are no ready workers and it is worth spending time for training. Although at first it is not easy and there are plenty of reasons to say “Come when you learn”. But I remember that editor and explain to the person all the time. Where to study, if not in practice? There would be a fire inside.

There was also a situation when the employee was clearly underdeveloped: it took a lot of time for training, but no benefit. It became clear that you need to say goodbye. Before the final conversation, I opened this message again (I don’t delete it in principle) and I realized that if I needed to do this, I would only look into my eyes. Do not speak arrogantly "Come when you learn," but simply say: "We do not fit each other. We are parting."

Kristina

Four years ago, I created a clothing brand Vazovsky. Two weeks after launch, Wonderzine and a few other publications wrote about me. Send the first sale. Success came very quickly, however, it is not surprising - then the young conceptual brands were much smaller than they are now. Those who made a minimally decent product were immediately noticed.

I was seventeen. I made up for the lack of qualification with emotions and even managed to infect with my enthusiasm several people who were ready to work for the idea. But emotions are unreliable fuel, especially when a working routine intervenes: seamstresses do not give up mockups, production breaks deadlines, we buy the wrong fabric, make deliveries at the wrong time, stores do not pay money, debit does not converge with credit. I was in a wild stress 24/7, could not cope with the responsibility that fell on me, suffered from wild psychosomatic pains in the neck. I needed help, but I didn’t know how to ask for it.

The situation was complicated by the fact that I studied in Paris and tried to build a career there - also in the field of fashion, but as an employee. I ambitiously thought that I could steer everything remotely. Did not work. Talented but inexperienced people like me worked with me. In addition, the brand did not bring enough money so that I could pay them a normal salary, the tension and frustration in the team grew. So the brand fell apart for the first time.

I decided to return from Paris to Petersburg and restart the company. I assembled a new team, sent off a new collection. The brand began to bring more stable income, I began to stress a little less. But I was no longer interested in what was happening in me. I burned out.

In fact, the project was closed in the spring of 2016, although perhaps another half a year to the question of how he was doing, I answered that everything was super. And then another half a year transferred the conversation to another topic. I was very ashamed that I did not succeed. And restlessly because the image of the designer that I transmitted to the world for so long is no longer relevant. And who I am outside of this image, I did not understand.

My main failure was that I admitted to myself so late that I no longer want to do this and did not let go in time. I also regret that I did not arrange a normal funeral with drunkenness, toasts and tears. It has always been very difficult for me to discuss failures. I used to do a good face on a bad game, but I didn’t make me happy. I decided to completely change the strategy and launched the podcast "It's a Failure", in which I discuss my own and other people's failures with people who are interesting to me. After five issues, I voiced almost everything sore and realized that a life in which all the failures can be told in an hour and a half is not so hopeless. The need for armor has disappeared. I am ready to fall further.

Photo: 5second - stock.adobe.com, Gecko Studio - stock.adobe.com, tuomaslehtinen - stock.adobe.com, Pakawat - stock.adobe.com

Watch the video: Walkover Fail (May 2024).