“Fettered Poverty”: How do young people experience their poverty
inequality in the modern world apparently mutates. New technologies, social policy, public attitudes are changing the very idea of starting opportunities. Yet poverty does not disappear anywhere, as does feeling financially unsuccessful or a “loser”. Relationships between people of different incomes also often remain disrespectful and even discriminatory. We talked with different people about how they are experiencing financial stratification: why they do not agree that poverty has no excuse, or believe that wealth is always theft.
I faced discrimination mainly in childhood and adolescence. Hurtful things said classmates, then classmates, sometimes friends. They were told to me and to other children from poor families. At school, I was boycotted, sometimes frankly poisoned because of bad clothes.
At the same time, the attitude itself was often provoked by teachers. The word "poor" was almost never used, as if it were possible to get infected from it. They used the term "dysfunctional" - for some reason it meant both alcohol-addicted and drug-addicted people with disabilities and those who simply have problems with money. A couple of times I heard from the teachers the phrase "begot poverty" in my address. And at one of the meetings, when some students and their parents said they could not afford to donate money for all the class needs, the director said: "If you don’t like it, go to the school for the poor!"
Then, when I grew up, I often heard that the poor were just stupid and lazy. It was a shame to find out from one of her ex-girlfriends that she did not understand why we could not go to an expensive restaurant. She said that I just had to find a normal job. And then I, in two jobs, barely made ends meet. Now I try not to communicate with such people.
At the same time, an unfair attitude works in the opposite direction. No less than about the stupid poor, I heard about the rich, who, if earned, then certainly by stealing. More people often try to fill the lack of money with a “noble birth”: at one time it was very fashionable to look for graphs and princes in their lineage.
We had a very diverse class at school, I had to be one of the poorest, and I was also brought up by a single mother. Many children did not want to communicate with me banally due to the fact that I did not have cool toys or sweets, which were at the best provided. And the more mature we became, the more noticeable the difference was. Some children rode with their parents to Spain, others plowed in the country to sell the harvest and be able to buy new sneakers for physical education. It was hard for me to feel the constant condemnation of myself - as if the lack of money made me a poor-quality person. I remember the case when a girl (daughter of a deputy) did not want to lend me a pen, because I am not one of those like her.
At first it was clothes. Against the backdrop of fashionably and expensively dressed peers, I looked like a battered scarecrow. Later - the lack of a mobile phone. Now I can not easily afford a vacation or a car purchase. It turned out that I have very rich relatives and every now and then I hear questions about their salaries and my financial situation from them, conversations are conducted patronizingly, and I involuntarily begin to feel like a little guilty child because I haven’t yet been in Paris or did not buy a fur coat. No one cares that my possibilities differ from their ideas. In the end, I avoid communication.
Now I am working and it may seem that everything has changed, but it is not. People who learn that I grew up in poverty and that I was raised by one mother begin to perceive me differently. "She is not from a very good family, what good can we expect from her?" - I heard this more than once. Because of childhood injuries, the evil looks and words of others are pushing me to work harder to climb higher and protect myself from attack. But, anyway, this breaks the self-esteem very much, until now I cannot soberly determine my position and it seems to me that I am worse than others.
I was born and grew up in a village, in a family of working people. When I left for the city, I often had to hear that I was “in the middle” and there is no salvation from people like me. I often hear that any village profession is a shame. And in general, if I wanted to, I would have long since earned money myself or would have found a rich husband or sponsor. Many do not even understand what they say offensive things.
Previously, it hurt and offended me, but now I do not react so badly. Quite I can besiege the adviser, to show that he is wrong. I realized that I needed to put such people in their place, point them to their wrongness and first of all work on their own reflection. It’s not my problem that people don’t want to develop critical thinking and they continue to live with the stereotypes that villagers are “drunks and lazy people”.
Recently, I talked to a group mate and complained that lately, my husband and I had money back to back. Despite the fact that he works in two jobs, and I earn additionally, studying in medical. She said that this is our problem and we work a little. At the same time, she lives on the money of her parents and her boyfriend. Hearing it was very disappointing.
I also do not like to travel long distances, and when I talk about it, I often respond in the spirit: "This is how you console yourself." My relatives are faced with this attitude: recently my sister had a graduation ceremony and some parents wanted to arrange a very expensive holiday. When most parents abandoned this, children from rich families began to call the rest "beggars and goons".
It is especially unpleasant when my fellow students or simply people from the Internet say that the poor are to blame for everything, that in no case should they have children - as if they were lepers. Often stumbled upon the persecution of large families, single moms, just poor families. I constantly encounter humiliation when I watch bloggers or TV, where they say that if you try, everything will work out for you, and if it does not work out, then you did not try.
Not so long ago, my ex-girlfriend, having rested on the sea, asked why I had not been anywhere this summer. Naturally, I had to answer that our family has no money to rest even at Russian resorts, and I have never seen the sea. She was surprised and said that now such people no longer exist.
But there is also a more aggressive rejection of poverty. Some people decide for others who can have children, and who generally refrain from creating a family and procreation. Once they wrote to me in a social network that my birth was already in fact a big mistake, because I grew up in great poverty, my childhood was sometimes hungry, accompanied by stale bread, barley porridge and empty diet soup. My parents were called irresponsible and stupid. Of course, they should have killed me before birth.
I remember my mother brought me to an art school, and other parents looked askance at her skinned jacket and torn boots. Someone even asked why she takes me to a dance, even if she can't buy clothes herself. At parents' meetings, parents were asked why they brought me to a regular secondary school, if they cannot participate in the training camp for the needs of the class: "Give it to a correctional school, all poor children study there."
There was another case - when I mentioned the absence of water supply and sewage in our house. And the trouble is not only that there is no place to put a bathroom (although in this, our house is too small, and the toilet can only be put in the bedroom), but also in the fact that in our area of the city there is no running water. This caused a wave of discussions that it is quite inexpensive and in general it is possible to postpone a couple of months from the salary. In popular psychology, the idea is widespread that poverty is not a social problem, but exclusively personal. The person does not think that way, he treats money incorrectly or does not know how to save.
It is even harder to refuse unsolicited help. Periodically, they offer me to give things, but they never ask me if I need this. Yes, I have few clothes, I go in the same and shop every 6-7 years. But it does not mean anything. I still have the right to choose things myself - if not in company stores, but on the clothing market, if not every season, but very rarely, but new and to my taste.
To deal with this is quite difficult. As soon as I turned twenty, the pressure began to increase, if not geometrically, then in an arithmetic progression. If earlier it was giggles and mockery due to the fact that parents in the fourth grade did not buy me a phone, and in the eighth, a computer, now this is a different kind of condemnation. I think many people of my age are faced with financial problems. But for most of them it is a question of lack of professional experience, they are at the initial stage of building a career, and for people like me, this is a problem of social status. My father is a tractor driver, and my mother is a pensioner, and if you have serious health problems, as it happened with me, it is very difficult to get out. Now I even try to avoid all acquaintances from my past life, so as not to answer inappropriate and annoying questions.
I have a dream - to become a scientist. There is a red diploma, certificates, studies. But I need to continue my education, but I don’t have enough money to leave - which costs one to rent an apartment. As a result, a person who has studied worse than me or is less competent in the chosen field turns out to be more worthy of building a career, as his social status allows him to pay for an apartment, food, training fees, and even leisure. Every rich person is sure that he deserves his level of income and does not receive excessively. But is a person worthy who knows neither days off nor vacations worth 5–10 thousand salaries?
My family was incomplete: me, mom, grandmother. We moved often, and I had to change schools. The last two - the gymnasium and the lyceum - were in the Moscow region and Moscow, respectively. In these schools, children studied especially ambitious and non-poor parents, simply "majors". As a result, all the middle and high school I had to listen to bullying classmates regarding my appearance, gadgets, leisure. They called me a bomzhi in the face because of not the brand clothes and the nerd, because I did not have money for bars and clubs. One class in the sixth guy from my class approached me with a hundred-ruble bill, started waving it in front of my face and said: "I can throw it out or burn it, but you can't even ask for so much for a week."
Now I am a student. One guy from the university to my complaints about the long road to the university from the suburbs said: "Rent a room. You can not rent? Look for a job." Although with mental problems and studying full-time especially not work. It is believed that if you are poor - it is your mistake. Someone was able to achieve success, but you are not - you spread your rot, you are pathetic. It is a shame to be a cleaner or a nurse with a salary of 20 thousand rubles, but it is not a shame to be a corrupt official or security official.
Photo: Vlad Ivantcov - stock.adobe.com, Stockninja - stock.adobe.com, Kenishirotie - stock.adobe.com