"This is not your child": Women about paternity tests
Genetic tests that help establish kinship, long ago became a reality. On the one hand, this is a complex science and precise laboratory processes, and on the other hand, human emotions and dramas, partings and tears, relations between mothers, fathers and children. We talked with women who had to personally, at work or indirectly face paternity tests, for what reasons this is done and what results brings.
My family is a son and a cat. I met the father of my son for about eight years, his family took me well. Dreamed of a child, but for a long time did not succeed, considered IVF. When I finally got pregnant, we planned a wedding — with enough time to bear the mourning for his father. And then several things happened at the same time: I went to the hospital to save, and he, although he visited me, simultaneously filed an application to the registry office for marriage with another girl from our company. Then he suddenly flew away to Europe for two weeks - as it turned out, on a honeymoon trip. I learned about everything by chance through social networks. In the end, I gave birth prematurely, and then everything was as if in a fog.
Now, after two years, I understand that much needed to be done differently, but at that time I was left alone, with a prematurely weak child, without a family, and all my friends had disappeared somewhere. He first acknowledged his son, but then his mother began the campaign “This is not your baby”: in terms of terms, if you consider the pregnancy to be full-term, then forty weeks before giving birth he was not in the country. Hospital records that the pregnancy was premature were of no interest to anyone.
When it all started to spin, my son was not even a month old, I barely started walking with him on the street. At the same time, there were problems with the health of the baby. I didn’t get enough sleep, didn’t cope, lived in complete isolation, I felt that I’m no useless clumsy. When I was directly offered to do a paternity test, I burst into tears - it seemed another betrayal. For several months he claimed that I wanted to trick him into a child of another man, and he supposedly had long thought about it and therefore left - so as not to bring up a “stranger”. Why did he then recognize the child immediately after his birth, I did not understand. I agreed to the test because I wanted to close the question.
At the same time, he sued for challenging paternity - it seems that this was a matter of principle on his part (or on the part of his mother). Perhaps he was afraid that I would file for child support - then he still had a normal official salary. When they took blood from their son for analysis, he spent the first time with a child who was already four months old, several hours together - but he did not even look at him. It was a shame and humiliating. The results came in two weeks: on the one hand, I knew exactly who the father of the child was, and on the other, I thought - suddenly there would be a mistake in their laboratory there, what then? Prove? Back off? Give up But, of course, the result was confirmed - this is his child with a probability of 99.9%. It turned out that no one will withdraw the application anyway - I did not argue. In the end, no father is better than such a father.
Then we have not seen for a long time, sometimes they were written off. I did not insist on communication - a married man is not interesting to me. In rare visits, he brought exclusively not what I asked. If I said that my son was allergic to diapers of a certain brand, then he brought them. I worked a year in translations, then I gave my son to a private kindergarten, returned to work. We live back to back, often in debt. Colleagues and random people from the Internet help a lot - they give things, toys, medicines. So we are not entirely alone.
When his son was one year old, he was diagnosed with an oncological disease in his father. We performed the operation, got the disability, reported that there would be no more children. Then he urgently needed to return the child back. Yes, and there is evidence of paternity - the conclusion suddenly gained weight, and he began to remind about it. I, in response, recall the words of his mother: the test result indicates only the probability of paternity, and this conclusion is worth nothing, "nothing was wasted just for nothing."
He wanted to repeat the examination, but I refused - I do not want to expose the child to such a second time. On the part of my father, I see vigorous activity in the spirit of "I want a son," but not "I want to be a father." Of course, now I am accused of setting up a son against my father, but I do not plan to waste time on such nonsense. Why does he need a child now - I do not know. I think he is afraid that in his old age no one will give a glass of water, but I do not want this problem to be solved at the expense of my son.
I come across affinity tests a couple of times a year, since family law is not my main specialization. I represent the interests of the principal; most often paternity must be established in cases where the inheritance has opened or the woman’s financial situation has deteriorated and alimony must be collected.
A completely blatant story happened to my ex-boyfriend Sergey. He had an affair with a woman, with whom they then converged, then diverged. In one of the periods of living together she became pregnant - everyone was happy. Seryozha loved his daughter very much, and he already had an adult son from his first marriage. A year after the birth of the child, they separated again, but he continued to raise her daughter, she periodically lived with him. When the girl was six years old, Sergei suddenly received a subpoena - a claim for recognition of the paternity of another man and the exclusion of the record of Seryozhin's fatherhood. Conducted an examination: it turned out that genetically he really is not the father. More Sergei daughter does not see.
Another case: the girl came from a small Ural city to work in St. Petersburg - there was a fleeting connection, as a result of which a daughter was born. The man refused to take part in the life of the child, and fatherhood was not established. After the birth of her daughter, she left for her homeland and accidentally, after a couple of years, found out that the father of the child had been killed - and he had an apartment left. With the assistance of his sister, they obtained DNA samples from hairbrushes, toothbrushes and conducted an examination. As a result, paternity was established, and the girl inherited.
My parents have been divorced for a long time, and my dad somehow had a short relationship with a woman who, among other things, decently drank. About two years later she called him and said that she had a baby and left him in the hospital. By the way, she wanted to have an abortion, but she didn’t find a passport at the right moment.
As a result, my father went to the custody and to the lawyers. He was told that he needed a DNA test. Then there was the court, according to the results of which the father was reinstated in paternity. This is important: in the end, he did not adopt my brother, namely, he proved that Sasha was his son. And when the biological mother, who refused Sasha, died, he was able to claim an inheritance - that is, the fact that his father was reinstated gave Sasha an apartment.
I gave birth to a son at forty. The pregnancy was unplanned, but I immediately decided that I would have a baby. I filed a lawsuit in court because of alimony - however, until it came to them, the father of the child is now undergoing serious treatment, and I regret it. True, he never regretted me - but he helps me a little with money, sometimes he brings toys to his son. He began to see the child only for the third year - and Cyril is always very happy with him.
I did the DNA analysis according to the court’s decision - and had no doubt about the result, but I was afraid that the father of the child would be able to influence him for money. He did not agree to a voluntary examination, he had to do it through the court. But everything went fine, the result is positive. However, so far this has given me only one thing - the opportunity to enter my father on the birth certificate instead of the dashes. It worried me a lot, I thought it was not good for my son. I hope to raise the issue of alimony later when the father of the child has completed the treatment.
I met a guy for three years, everything was fine, we were going to get married. I got pregnant, and for five months he said that we were breaking up - and his mother also advised me to terminate the pregnancy, to make artificial childbirth at a later period. This was not my plan; when Andrei was born, I told his father about this, and he even visited me at the hospital.
Ten months later, I decided to file a lawsuit against him: I went to my friend, a lawyer, she helped write a statement. At the first meeting, he did not appear, he came to the second one, and we were assigned a forensic medical examination. Four times we went to Rostov with a baby, which is about forty kilometers from our city - and he never came to conduct an examination. As a result, the judge said that if he did not come on the fifth, then he was recognized by default as the father. He arrived, the examination was carried out, the fatherhood was recognized - and then I filed for alimony. Now I get about ten thousand a month from him. Examination, by the way, is an expensive thing - it cost me about thirty thousand, and that was seven years ago.
I also have an older son, he is sixteen, and now with his father I did not at first establish paternity, did not ask for child support - I just wanted to have a child. But eight years after his birth, the circumstances changed, I realized that I would not pull the second child myself, so I filed for paternity. The point is not only in alimony; perhaps the child will be able to claim an inheritance in the future.
But the most curious story happened later: Andrei's father got married, he had a daughter. And this year, his wife (I don’t know for sure if they were divorced or just separated) filed a lawsuit against him for alimony. I was called as a witness. At the trial I was (the witness), there was no defendant, and his wife, who sued, was not there either. I, the third party, in fact, decided whether his daughter is worthy of the alimony. I said that I did not mind that she also received one-sixth from his salary - so that she now receives alimony.
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